Wifebeater Press Conference

[wifebeater]

Wifebeater walks out to a podium. An audience has gathered with many reporters and wrestling insiders eagerly awaiting the speech.

"You all know this fucking shit by now, it's all over the dirt sheets and is public: Jammal Jones is now the official owner of the company until X comes back. He has absolute power, and even if he wins a title the man can do whatever the fuck he wants. Even though the guy hasn't made one decision as Commish, he is suddenly promoted to a fucking position where he has more power than anyone ever before in the history of this shit hole. On top of that the man is a fucking racist and a goddamn extremist! Abuse of power! No fucking way, this guy would NEVER abuse his fucking power!"

Wifebeater rips the microphone out of the podium and kicks it over.

"I REFUSE to follow his fucking nig orders! I will NOT wrestle his fucking handicap match against the Murder family at the first stop on the Domestic Violence tour, but I WILL be interfering in his match against Kevin Klash. I ain't gonna fuckin lie to you, and I ain't gonna make false promises. It's your ass chocolate milk. If you want to keep it for another day I suggest you call my match off!"

[Mysterious-X]

Wrestling Onlooker Report

Mysterious X has written this letter in response to Wifebeater's Press Conference.

"I must say that both of these men have been very inappropriate. This was to be expected out of Wifebeater, but it was not to be expected of Jammall Jones.

So Jammall Jones has here by been relinquished of his powers. He is still however commissioner, so the handicap match stands. If he wins a title he will lose his commissioner powers.

I regret to say that, due to a clause in Wifebeater's contract and since I am injured, if Jammall loses his commissioner powers then Wifebeater will be the only suitable replacement and will get the position.

I am looking at canidates right now to stand in as executive clause owner of RMW. I will mail the results when I find the person who fits with my view of the company. Until then the normal, and limited, commissioner position is the highest staff member we have on the show.

Signed Mysterious-X"

The clause he is referring to states "If a suitable person is not available for the commissioner position, then client shall hold that position until a suitable replacement is appointed."

the contract defines suitable as "A person who has three(3) years experience booking wrestling events."

The reason Jammall would lose his commissioner power is stated in RMW policy #005 and it states.

"No staff member may hold any RMW championships, unless they give up their staff powers during the time of the championship reign."

We will report more as this story develops.

[wifebeater]

Buckled like a fucking belt. Remember this though, my little piece of stock is keeping one side or the other from having majority. If this handicap match isn't re-booked then I'll be having a nice fucking meeting with Tom Bergman about some business.

[Mysterious-X]

Wrestling Onlooker Report

We have recieved an email from Mysterious-X about Wifebeaters latest comments.

"I have no say in the bookings of RMW right now. I have chosen a board of six people to run RMW. Their identities will remain hidden.

Jammall Jones will still be the commissioner. This group will be above hime. They can overturn his decisions if they see fit.

The only way for anyone to talk to the B.O.D. is by telephone. The number will be posted backstage in the locker rooms for the wrestlers. They can be reached at any time necessary because there is an answering machine.

The board will vote for all issues. Since there are only six people on the board a tie is possible from the vote. In the event of a tie I shall cast the tie-breaker vote.

So if Wifebeater has a problem then he can call the posted number and talk it over with the B.O.D.. In fact I already sent them an inquery to vote to overturn the handicap match.

Signed Mysterious-X"

We will have more information on this as soon as it breaks.

[wifebeater]

Well, I called the BOD and I get their anwering machine. Let me tell you this: I don't give a fuck if they reverse the decision or not. I'm gonna sneak attack the Murder Boys from behind and I'm gonna lynch Jammal fucking Jones. Wifebeater ain't getting the shit end of the dick, motherfuckers.