Post by wifebeater on Jun 29, 2018 9:25:49 GMT -5
Kirk Sandler is at the announcers desk with hired security: SWAT & War Pig The Excessive Force. War Pig is holding the taser and SWAT has the baton they used to incompasitate and kidnapped Cannonball Hall.
Kirk Sandler: Hello RMW fans and welcome to what could be the very last show. If X doesn’t beat James Elvin for the Commissioner Championship it’s as good as over for us...LOOK UP THERE!
The camera swings to show a figure in the rafters. It’s Wifebeater in all black with a black cane. He’s drinking Black Label and his face is painted black.
Kirk Sandler: That man up there is the special ref and we need him to come through for us at Without Warning. I know X screwed him, but he loves RMW more than politic. He has to. It’s Wifebeater! He bleeds green and red!
A female fan rushes the announce booth holding a shovel. War Pig starts going nuts.
Woman: wears ma husband u mutherfucker?!
War Pig: Hey you fucking COCK QUEEN shut your fucking mouth before I split open your GRILLED CHEESE CUNT with my gun and UNLOAD INSIDE OF YOU!
She takes a swing and War Pig shoots her in the crotch with the taser. SWAT cracks her in the skull with the baton.
Kirk Sandler: Woah! Wait what the fuck no!
SWAT kicks her in the gut and lifts her up into a powerbomb.
War Pig: Do it!
He tosses her head first off the stage literally through electrical equipments and the lights flicker.
Kirk Sandler: I hired you as security what is this shit!
War Pig: I can only be bought by politicians and drug money you fucking WORM!
The leave and Mike Bowen comes strolling out past them with a mic. He stares down Kirk and lifts the mic to his mouth.
Kirk Sandler: Hey fuck you don’t you ducking come over here!
Mike Bowen: Listen listen. Calm down you little puss. If I wanted to fuck you up beyond repair to the point where your boyfriend is fucking your colostomy bag cause it’s the closest thing you have left to an asshole...I wouldn’t wait for this show. I would’ve came to your house on the off days when I’m not fucking your wife and took over the household.
Kirk stares him down fists balled.
Mike Bowen. But no kid..you picked a fight so we’re going to fight. Once you hit Maurice with a cheap shot you signed your fucking death warrant boy. At Without Warning I’ve been given a match. With you. It’s Me and Maurice versus you. Bring a partner if you can find one. It won’t matter either way. I’m going to kill you and Maurice will get the final blow. It’s not Without Warning for us. I’m giving you a week to get your affairs in order. Then I’ll take over the household, and your daughter will be calling me daddy.
Kirk throws off his headset and gets in Mikes face.
Mike Bowen: Go ahead take your shot now. You won’t make it off this stage in anything but a body bag.
The Pain Below by Chevelle hits and Scotty walks onto the stage. He pushes past the two of them and Mike gives a look and walks off. Kirk backs off to the desk.
Kirk Sandler: Yeah fuck you Mike I got partner..... fans here’s our first match of the evening! Scotty Payne will take on Blue Bomber. Honestly at our last show his brother Tommy was killed by this Bomber and Orange Crush. I don’t think this is a good idea.
Scotty Payne gets in the ring and pulls out a handgun. He’s screaming and frantic.
Scotty Payne: STAND BACK! STAND THE FUCK BACK! BRING HIM OUT HERE THIS FUCKING ENDS TONIGHT!
The lights in the arena go dark and the sound of some kind of goop splashing on the mat are heard before the MoneyTron lights up. It just says “The Demon is Cumming...”
Arena lights are back on and Scotty Payne is covered in some clear white liquid.
Scotty Payne: Ahh...what the fu...AHHHHH WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS...SEMEN? THIS CANT BE FUCKING....WHAT NO WHAT THE FUCK
Kirk Sandler: Oh my god please PLEASE go to break!
We come back to a vignette. It’s another heat vision vignette. The target acquired text blinks and the camera begins moving faster forward. It stops dead in a bush and scans into a playground. We can now see the target. There’s a little girl on a swing. Her mother walks away for a second to grab the 2 year old boy waddling away. The text flashes ENGAGE and the camera rushes and freeze frames. A reflection can be seen in a playground mirror of what looks to be a monster almost like from the movie Predator.
Kirk Sandler: Alright we’re back here with movie monsters and who knows what else.
Hard to Handle by Otis Redding hits and Sweet comes to the ring slapping hands and dancing. He grabs a mic before entering.
Sweet Johnson: How’s everybody doin tonight?! Let’s have a good time and pick up some wins! I’m here to prove myself and have a little fun.
The Four Horsemen theme hits with the horse clopping and shit. A literal Klansman comes out on a horse with a torch in one hand and a noose in the other.
Kirk Sandler: This is not good at all.
The horse starts going nuts as he rides around the ring slinging fire everywhere. Fans are scattering. Sweet is in the ring losing his mind in anger. The horse wildly rides to the back setting the curtain on fire. Staff members run everywhere and fans are rushing to the exit. Sweet is furious and leaves the ring to the back.
Commercial for the Champions League Tag Team Invitational. 16 teams will enter and we will finally crown Tag Team Champions after 10 years.
Backstage Sweet is furious backstage throwing stuff all over the place.
Sweet: They did it! They finally fucking did it!
Jammall Jones comes out of from a room sweating.
Sweet: Mannnnn did you fucking see that shit?!? They fucking did it!
Jones: I fucking told you nigga. You wouldn’t listen.
Sweet: Fuck it. I’m in wich you. I’m fucking in. This racist ass white boy red Money shit can suck my 9 inch Johnson.
Back to the announcers desk we see a half empty arena.
Kirk Sandler: Alright well...I can’t explain what I just saw, but they’ve finally pushed Sweet over the edge. I wonder what this means for this tag Team Champions League? Guess we’ll find out...down to the ring!
Macen Clark is in the ring cracking his knuckles Purple Haze by Jimi Hendrix accompanies the behemoth Arsenal to the ring.
Kirk Sandler: This is going to be an MMA fight or a “Macen...eh this might be my last day anyway I’m not saying that corny shit. It’s a cage fight rules KOs or Submissions. No cage though can’t afford that!
Arsenal climbs over the top ropes like the towering giant he is. Macen stands across from him looking very intense. He puts in a mouth guard as the bell rings.
Kirk Sandler: This is a huge size difference. I’d say they’re three weight classes apart at least.
Macen scurries to the center and peppers Arsenal with leg kicks and mid-section jabs. Arsenal throws a haymaker that Macen dashes left and dodges. He counters with a huge kick to the knee. Arsenal buckles to the other knee. Macen leaps forward with a big knee to the face.
Kirk Sandler: I think I saw a tooth fly!
Macen scrambles to the mat with Arsenal to attempt an armband, but the big man grabs him by the throat and hammers him in the ribs with haymakers from the bottom. Macen has blood dribbling from his mouth. Arsenal gets to his feet holding Macen up by the throat. He lurches his arm back for the big chop as Macen kicks him in the gut hard. He gets back to his base and hits another huge kick to the knee.
Kirk Sandler: Arsenal doesn’t go down!
Arsenal checks the kick, clearly in pain, but no-sells the effects. He reaches back and connects with the haymaker to the jaw of Macen Clark!
Kirk Sandler: He’s done!
Macen falls to the mat. Arsenal reaches down to grab him and Macen, playing possum, springs to life to slide under him and grab the leg in a heel hook!
Kirk Sandler: Hes got the whole leg hooked!
Arsenal writhes in pain clutching his fists. Nowhere to go he’s fucked. The ref begs him to quit. Arsenal grabs the red by his shirt.
Arsenal: NEVER MOTHERFUCKER!
Macen cranks back and a loud pop and crack is heard echoing through the half empty arena. Arsenal’s head drops and he goes white as a sheet.
Kirk Sandler: Call it! Get him off!
Macen refuses to let go as the ref motions for the bell over and over. The timekeeper fumbles with the hammer.
Kirk Sandler: Fucking ring the fucking bell!
Barracks runs down the ramp into the ring. The bell rings as he slides in and Macen lets go.
Barracks: What the fuck?!!!!!
Macen: The bell! I’m not gonna let go before the bell you dumb prick!
Barracks grabs him by the throat as the ref comes in to pull it apart. Macen takes a huge cheap shot with a right hook that knocks Barracks on his ass. He rolls out of the ring. Barracks is dazed and Arsenal is in shock with a spaghetti leg.
A video package runs about the IWF invasion and the Without Warning show coming up.
We come back and Legend is already in the ring. A big sweat stain can be seen on the ass of his sweat pants.
Praise by Sevendust hits and JZ BadBlood comes out onto the stage with his partner Ace Lloyd. Bad Blood is wearing green pants, a white mask with blue dreadlocks coming out of it. Ace is wearing the classic orange suit. JZ is handed a mic from his partners briefcase.
JZ: Look at this disgrace in the ring. I feel embarrassed to be involved with anything called RMW. In fact, just to get rid of negatitive connotations, let’s just drop the JZ in my name okay? I don’t want to even be remotely associated with RMW past or present. I am Bad Blood, this is Ace Lloyd, and since this is going to be a quick match on a shit show let Mr. Elvin know we’re working pro bono.
Bad Blood climbs into the ring and the bell rings. Legend puts his hands up and Bad Blood kicks him right in the gut. Legend stumbles. Blood hits a leg sweep that knocks Legend to the mat. Legend gets to one knee and tugs at his mask trying to readjust the eye holes.
Kirk Sandler: Come on Legend we need a win here tonight! Fix the mask before you get in there!
Bad Blood runs the ropes and as Legend gets to his feet he connects with a HUGE clothesline from hell. Legend takes the whole bump onto the back of his head.
Kirk Sandler: Nevermind.
Blood picks him up to his feet, lifts him on his shoulders and hits a Death Valley Driver! He doesn’t go for the pin.
Kirk Sandler: I’m not advocating helping Legend after all the shit he’s done, but goddamn this seems mismatched. We need an RMW Guy out here.
Bad Blood neglects to go for the cover; instead he lifts Legend up, slings him over his shoulder and drills him into the mat with a sitout piledriver. Bad Blood covers.
1...2...3. The bell rings and the RMW ref leaves shaking his head.
Bad Blood calls for Ace to step into the ring. He hold Legend on his knees and Ace smashes the metal briefcase over his head!
Kirk Sandler: Alright point is proven go the fuck back to England!
Bad Blood shouts “one more?”. The audience is apathetic. They are even more so when Gilbert Webster and James Callander come from the crowd to help. As they slide into the ring Ace crushes James with the briefcase and Bad Blood soccer kicks Webster in the pills. Bad Blood grabs him before he falls and tosses him to Ace who hits the X-factor on him. They spell out IWF with their fingers as all the geeks lay on the mat.
Kirk Sandler: This is just embarrassing. On Sunday we have to fight for everything: our legacy, our future, careers and jobs for guys like these who aren’t good enough to work at McDonalds. If we can’t pull off a win nobody waving that RMW banner is going to have a job and the fans will be on the street in their cardboard boxes!
We go to break and come back with a backstage interview.
Chris Handsome: Thank you Mr. Elvin for joining me. I have a few very important questions for you.
James Elvin: Shoot.
Chris Handsome: Okay then. Why now? Why come all the way from England to try to take over this territory? RMW has been on the brink for years.
James Elvin: It’s very simple: this is personal. You know who founded this company? Many people forget it was three pillars. Mysterious X, Wifebeater, and....Mac Daddy Squid.
Chris Handsome: WOW that’s a name I haven’t heard in years.
James Elvin: Well think about this. So he starts this shithole on the back of IWF and steals Mysterious X aka Mark Murder. Not to be confused with the Mysterious X here. Black Tiger was a different kid on our roster, Tank was a guy I was trying to sign, Macen Clark has a small cup of coffee...and a few years later who shows up but Matt fucking Bourne.
Chris Handsome: Technically yes, but also his brand never got off the ground.
James Elvin: That’s no surprise to me! Look what he did to our brand? He deleted the entire tape library, burnt it down, and salted the fucking earth! IWF was huge and I have him the keys only to get screwed over in the end. We tried to rebrand as Insane Wrestling Federation, tried to fold into our hardcore fed PHW, and everything went to hell. Then Bourne shows up here. I think he was an RMW agent of chaos sent to put us out of business then X let him badly manage a side project until his contract was up.
Chris Handsome: That seems a little conspiratorial wouldn’t you say? If we’re being honest?
James Elvin: I don’t care if the truth falls somewhere in the middle. This company was founded on bitterness, jealousy, and raunchy horseshit that quite frankly killed the territory maybe even the business. I sat on the sidelines for so long fuming...
Chris Handsome: Well what are you going to do if you win? If you say the territory is dead?
James Elvin: WHEN I win, this whole RMW name, tapes, legacy is going to be burned just like Matt Bourne did to me. Then I don’t know. Frankly I don’t care. The talent contracts are through a third party company owned by X so unless they want to sign with me instead of sit that out or X wants to start something new out west, who knows? This PPV is about folding all the titles into IWF and going out with a bang. I want to take everything from RMW and the RMW fans. This is about revenge. Anybody who jumps ship will get a nice payout from me, and then they can sit the contracts out.
Chris Handsome: This looked like an invasion to take over the fed and change over to IWF. So this is...going to be the end if you win? What makes you think Wifebeater is joining your side? Why would anyone?
James Elvin: Quit saying “if” you hack. This isn’t a wrestling angle this is me putting third rate talent, like you, out of a job and cleaning up the mess. Guys like Wifebeater want to move on. He’s been fucked over by X too.
Chris Handsome: Excuse me? Third rate talent like me?
James Elvin: Let me give you an example. They have a cum demon or some shit debuting. That’s the level of retarded bullshit that X let’s happen on his shows. Do you really think this is worth saving? Do you think you’re actually talented if you’re working here? We all know you had an “incident” when you were working on Nightline trying to catch perverts. They say to catch a criminal you have to think like one not act like one dipshit.
Chris Handsome: Okay this interview is over. Cut it Rich!
James Elvin: Yeah yeah you fucking coward pedophile..
Handsome stands up and throws his papers in the air. He spits right in Elvin’s face. James grabs him by the throat and slaps the piss out of him before security jumps in and the feed cuts.
Kirk Sandler: Well there you have it! Just like I was saying. Everything is on the line. He’s going to put all of us out of a job! I’m begging any RMW wrestlers considering the payoff to think about what you’re doing. Tonight’s main event is going to showcase that, despite all the other bullshit on this show, RMW is the best wrestling around.
We cut to the ring where the ropes have been replaced by barbed wire and the two wrestlers are already in the ring.
Kirk Sandler: Hannibal puts his mask on the line in a grudge match against Genocide who has opted to put the briefcase on the line. Of course in that briefcase is the money he took from Murder to betray his friend. Hannibal refused to wrestle him unless he put it up.
The match starts with Genocide and Hannibal circling each other. They both throw low kicks and front kick jabs. Nothing connects. Genocide is wearing jeans and white T-shirt. Hannibal is wearing his normal red pants but taped up to keep them tight along with taped up thick knee pads. He has a grey shirt on and arms all taped.
Kirk Sandler: Their hands are taped up to avoid cuts. Both guys dressed differently too as you can tell and are being very careful right now. This one is going to hurt.
Genocide goes to shoot low, but Hannibal cartwheels out of the way and leg drops the back of his neck! Hannibal follows up with a flurry of punches to his face. He catches Genocide with a hard grazing shot to the eyebrow that busts him open.
Kirk Sandler: Not even to the barbed wire and he’s busted open!
Hannibal drags Genocide by his hair to the bottom rope of barbed wire and attempts to push his face into it. Genocide bites his taped fingers and pushes him back. Through the whole in the tape Hannibal’s middle finger comes out and the audience pops.
Kirk Sandler: Here we go! Genocide better figure out a way to survive this!
Genocide gets to one knee, reaches in his tights, and as Hannibal rushes him he throws a fireball!
Kirk Sandler: A freaking fireball!!
Hannibal stumbles back and Genocide dropkicks him backwards into the barbed wire!
Kirk Sandler: Into the wire my god!
Hannibal is stuck by his shirt. Genocide is throwing right hands and kicks just pummeling him. He tears Hannibal’s shirt off and frees him, throwing him to the mat. Then he grabs the legs for a slingshot into the barbed wire, but as he launches him Hannibal catches himself in mid air and lands on the middle rope. Genocide turns around and gets caught!
Kirk Sandler: Asai moonsault from the barbed wire rope!
Hannibal can’t see very well he’s blinded in one eye and stumbling. He reaches down and grabs the shirt and rips it off Genocide. He then motions to the audience, grabs him in a headlock and lifts him in a front duplex position. Genocide knees him in the head, stumbles down and lifts Hannibal up for a suplex! They fall backwards into the barbed wire! The ropes snap and the two of them fall through and get wrapped up in the barbed wire.
Kirk Sandler: We need help!
The Ringside crew rushes to cut them out. Both are bleeding from everywhere in their torso. Genocide grabs a handful of the cut wire and punches Hannibal in the eyes. He screams bloody murder and blood rushes from the mask. Hannibal scrambles out the wire and rolls back into the ring. He grabs a chair on the way.
Kirk Sandler: I think he’s hurt two bad. We need emergency medical staff ASAP!
Genocide attempts to climb into the ring but he’s still trapped in the wire. He gets onto the mat but can’t move. Medical staff are trying to cut him out but he grabs the bolt cutters and starts going after Hannibal. He moved about 3 feet before falling to his knees in agony. A piece of his intestine is popping out of a cut in his stomach.
Kirk Sandler: Oh my god stop this. Are they using fucking razor wire?
The now blind Hannibal swings the chair and hits the wire next to Genocide.
Kirk Sandler: He can’t even see!
Hannibal uses the chair like a walking stick to find Genocide. Once he taps him with the chair he raises it in the air, turns it sideways like an ax, and BAM! He hits once, twice, three, four..
Kirk Sandler: Jesus fucking Christ!
Hannibal is chopping him down his head is literally split open. Genocide slumps down possibly in a coma. The ref calls for the bell and Hannibal collapses holding his eyes. Police, ambulance, fireman rush the ring to free Genocide and give medical attention.
Kirk Sandler: Hannibal wins by KO I guess. That was too far...
The ref hands Hannibal the briefcase. He opens it and bars of cocaine drop everywhere. The police look at each other in shock. Hannibal crawls on his hands and knees but collapses into a bloody heap.
Up in the rafters Wifebeater sees the police and gets scared. He drops his bottle of Eagle Rare off it hits the mat and almost crowns a cop. He loudly slurs “oh shit” and starts drunkily running away. It’s more like a sideways falling shuffle and he tumbles off the scaffolding onto a group of women and children in a VIP nest off to the side.
Kirk Sandler: He almost fell to his death! Lucky for him he fell on that group of...oh no, that’s MADD and the Parental Advisory board.
Wifebeater trys to stand up but it’s almost as if he’s swimming through the group flailing his arms around like a fish out of water. He knees a woman in the face and she goes into a seizure.
Wifebeater: Oops excuse me, solly. ‘Hiccup’
He uses two twin girls heads to push himself up and runs towards the emergency exit, trips, and falls through setting off the fire system. The lights go dim and sprinklers are going off with a loud alarm. The audience scatters trampling each other. In the darkness The Heroin Brothers rush to ringside and grab the coke.
Kirk Sandler: Looks like we’re out of time!
Show ends with all this chaos going on and fades out on a shot of the fat cow lady fan throwing punches to exit the building.
Kirk Sandler: Hello RMW fans and welcome to what could be the very last show. If X doesn’t beat James Elvin for the Commissioner Championship it’s as good as over for us...LOOK UP THERE!
The camera swings to show a figure in the rafters. It’s Wifebeater in all black with a black cane. He’s drinking Black Label and his face is painted black.
Kirk Sandler: That man up there is the special ref and we need him to come through for us at Without Warning. I know X screwed him, but he loves RMW more than politic. He has to. It’s Wifebeater! He bleeds green and red!
A female fan rushes the announce booth holding a shovel. War Pig starts going nuts.
Woman: wears ma husband u mutherfucker?!
War Pig: Hey you fucking COCK QUEEN shut your fucking mouth before I split open your GRILLED CHEESE CUNT with my gun and UNLOAD INSIDE OF YOU!
She takes a swing and War Pig shoots her in the crotch with the taser. SWAT cracks her in the skull with the baton.
Kirk Sandler: Woah! Wait what the fuck no!
SWAT kicks her in the gut and lifts her up into a powerbomb.
War Pig: Do it!
He tosses her head first off the stage literally through electrical equipments and the lights flicker.
Kirk Sandler: I hired you as security what is this shit!
War Pig: I can only be bought by politicians and drug money you fucking WORM!
The leave and Mike Bowen comes strolling out past them with a mic. He stares down Kirk and lifts the mic to his mouth.
Kirk Sandler: Hey fuck you don’t you ducking come over here!
Mike Bowen: Listen listen. Calm down you little puss. If I wanted to fuck you up beyond repair to the point where your boyfriend is fucking your colostomy bag cause it’s the closest thing you have left to an asshole...I wouldn’t wait for this show. I would’ve came to your house on the off days when I’m not fucking your wife and took over the household.
Kirk stares him down fists balled.
Mike Bowen. But no kid..you picked a fight so we’re going to fight. Once you hit Maurice with a cheap shot you signed your fucking death warrant boy. At Without Warning I’ve been given a match. With you. It’s Me and Maurice versus you. Bring a partner if you can find one. It won’t matter either way. I’m going to kill you and Maurice will get the final blow. It’s not Without Warning for us. I’m giving you a week to get your affairs in order. Then I’ll take over the household, and your daughter will be calling me daddy.
Kirk throws off his headset and gets in Mikes face.
Mike Bowen: Go ahead take your shot now. You won’t make it off this stage in anything but a body bag.
The Pain Below by Chevelle hits and Scotty walks onto the stage. He pushes past the two of them and Mike gives a look and walks off. Kirk backs off to the desk.
Kirk Sandler: Yeah fuck you Mike I got partner..... fans here’s our first match of the evening! Scotty Payne will take on Blue Bomber. Honestly at our last show his brother Tommy was killed by this Bomber and Orange Crush. I don’t think this is a good idea.
Scotty Payne gets in the ring and pulls out a handgun. He’s screaming and frantic.
Scotty Payne: STAND BACK! STAND THE FUCK BACK! BRING HIM OUT HERE THIS FUCKING ENDS TONIGHT!
The lights in the arena go dark and the sound of some kind of goop splashing on the mat are heard before the MoneyTron lights up. It just says “The Demon is Cumming...”
Arena lights are back on and Scotty Payne is covered in some clear white liquid.
Scotty Payne: Ahh...what the fu...AHHHHH WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS...SEMEN? THIS CANT BE FUCKING....WHAT NO WHAT THE FUCK
Kirk Sandler: Oh my god please PLEASE go to break!
We come back to a vignette. It’s another heat vision vignette. The target acquired text blinks and the camera begins moving faster forward. It stops dead in a bush and scans into a playground. We can now see the target. There’s a little girl on a swing. Her mother walks away for a second to grab the 2 year old boy waddling away. The text flashes ENGAGE and the camera rushes and freeze frames. A reflection can be seen in a playground mirror of what looks to be a monster almost like from the movie Predator.
Kirk Sandler: Alright we’re back here with movie monsters and who knows what else.
Hard to Handle by Otis Redding hits and Sweet comes to the ring slapping hands and dancing. He grabs a mic before entering.
Sweet Johnson: How’s everybody doin tonight?! Let’s have a good time and pick up some wins! I’m here to prove myself and have a little fun.
The Four Horsemen theme hits with the horse clopping and shit. A literal Klansman comes out on a horse with a torch in one hand and a noose in the other.
Kirk Sandler: This is not good at all.
The horse starts going nuts as he rides around the ring slinging fire everywhere. Fans are scattering. Sweet is in the ring losing his mind in anger. The horse wildly rides to the back setting the curtain on fire. Staff members run everywhere and fans are rushing to the exit. Sweet is furious and leaves the ring to the back.
Commercial for the Champions League Tag Team Invitational. 16 teams will enter and we will finally crown Tag Team Champions after 10 years.
Backstage Sweet is furious backstage throwing stuff all over the place.
Sweet: They did it! They finally fucking did it!
Jammall Jones comes out of from a room sweating.
Sweet: Mannnnn did you fucking see that shit?!? They fucking did it!
Jones: I fucking told you nigga. You wouldn’t listen.
Sweet: Fuck it. I’m in wich you. I’m fucking in. This racist ass white boy red Money shit can suck my 9 inch Johnson.
Back to the announcers desk we see a half empty arena.
Kirk Sandler: Alright well...I can’t explain what I just saw, but they’ve finally pushed Sweet over the edge. I wonder what this means for this tag Team Champions League? Guess we’ll find out...down to the ring!
Macen Clark is in the ring cracking his knuckles Purple Haze by Jimi Hendrix accompanies the behemoth Arsenal to the ring.
Kirk Sandler: This is going to be an MMA fight or a “Macen...eh this might be my last day anyway I’m not saying that corny shit. It’s a cage fight rules KOs or Submissions. No cage though can’t afford that!
Arsenal climbs over the top ropes like the towering giant he is. Macen stands across from him looking very intense. He puts in a mouth guard as the bell rings.
Kirk Sandler: This is a huge size difference. I’d say they’re three weight classes apart at least.
Macen scurries to the center and peppers Arsenal with leg kicks and mid-section jabs. Arsenal throws a haymaker that Macen dashes left and dodges. He counters with a huge kick to the knee. Arsenal buckles to the other knee. Macen leaps forward with a big knee to the face.
Kirk Sandler: I think I saw a tooth fly!
Macen scrambles to the mat with Arsenal to attempt an armband, but the big man grabs him by the throat and hammers him in the ribs with haymakers from the bottom. Macen has blood dribbling from his mouth. Arsenal gets to his feet holding Macen up by the throat. He lurches his arm back for the big chop as Macen kicks him in the gut hard. He gets back to his base and hits another huge kick to the knee.
Kirk Sandler: Arsenal doesn’t go down!
Arsenal checks the kick, clearly in pain, but no-sells the effects. He reaches back and connects with the haymaker to the jaw of Macen Clark!
Kirk Sandler: He’s done!
Macen falls to the mat. Arsenal reaches down to grab him and Macen, playing possum, springs to life to slide under him and grab the leg in a heel hook!
Kirk Sandler: Hes got the whole leg hooked!
Arsenal writhes in pain clutching his fists. Nowhere to go he’s fucked. The ref begs him to quit. Arsenal grabs the red by his shirt.
Arsenal: NEVER MOTHERFUCKER!
Macen cranks back and a loud pop and crack is heard echoing through the half empty arena. Arsenal’s head drops and he goes white as a sheet.
Kirk Sandler: Call it! Get him off!
Macen refuses to let go as the ref motions for the bell over and over. The timekeeper fumbles with the hammer.
Kirk Sandler: Fucking ring the fucking bell!
Barracks runs down the ramp into the ring. The bell rings as he slides in and Macen lets go.
Barracks: What the fuck?!!!!!
Macen: The bell! I’m not gonna let go before the bell you dumb prick!
Barracks grabs him by the throat as the ref comes in to pull it apart. Macen takes a huge cheap shot with a right hook that knocks Barracks on his ass. He rolls out of the ring. Barracks is dazed and Arsenal is in shock with a spaghetti leg.
A video package runs about the IWF invasion and the Without Warning show coming up.
We come back and Legend is already in the ring. A big sweat stain can be seen on the ass of his sweat pants.
Praise by Sevendust hits and JZ BadBlood comes out onto the stage with his partner Ace Lloyd. Bad Blood is wearing green pants, a white mask with blue dreadlocks coming out of it. Ace is wearing the classic orange suit. JZ is handed a mic from his partners briefcase.
JZ: Look at this disgrace in the ring. I feel embarrassed to be involved with anything called RMW. In fact, just to get rid of negatitive connotations, let’s just drop the JZ in my name okay? I don’t want to even be remotely associated with RMW past or present. I am Bad Blood, this is Ace Lloyd, and since this is going to be a quick match on a shit show let Mr. Elvin know we’re working pro bono.
Bad Blood climbs into the ring and the bell rings. Legend puts his hands up and Bad Blood kicks him right in the gut. Legend stumbles. Blood hits a leg sweep that knocks Legend to the mat. Legend gets to one knee and tugs at his mask trying to readjust the eye holes.
Kirk Sandler: Come on Legend we need a win here tonight! Fix the mask before you get in there!
Bad Blood runs the ropes and as Legend gets to his feet he connects with a HUGE clothesline from hell. Legend takes the whole bump onto the back of his head.
Kirk Sandler: Nevermind.
Blood picks him up to his feet, lifts him on his shoulders and hits a Death Valley Driver! He doesn’t go for the pin.
Kirk Sandler: I’m not advocating helping Legend after all the shit he’s done, but goddamn this seems mismatched. We need an RMW Guy out here.
Bad Blood neglects to go for the cover; instead he lifts Legend up, slings him over his shoulder and drills him into the mat with a sitout piledriver. Bad Blood covers.
1...2...3. The bell rings and the RMW ref leaves shaking his head.
Bad Blood calls for Ace to step into the ring. He hold Legend on his knees and Ace smashes the metal briefcase over his head!
Kirk Sandler: Alright point is proven go the fuck back to England!
Bad Blood shouts “one more?”. The audience is apathetic. They are even more so when Gilbert Webster and James Callander come from the crowd to help. As they slide into the ring Ace crushes James with the briefcase and Bad Blood soccer kicks Webster in the pills. Bad Blood grabs him before he falls and tosses him to Ace who hits the X-factor on him. They spell out IWF with their fingers as all the geeks lay on the mat.
Kirk Sandler: This is just embarrassing. On Sunday we have to fight for everything: our legacy, our future, careers and jobs for guys like these who aren’t good enough to work at McDonalds. If we can’t pull off a win nobody waving that RMW banner is going to have a job and the fans will be on the street in their cardboard boxes!
We go to break and come back with a backstage interview.
Chris Handsome: Thank you Mr. Elvin for joining me. I have a few very important questions for you.
James Elvin: Shoot.
Chris Handsome: Okay then. Why now? Why come all the way from England to try to take over this territory? RMW has been on the brink for years.
James Elvin: It’s very simple: this is personal. You know who founded this company? Many people forget it was three pillars. Mysterious X, Wifebeater, and....Mac Daddy Squid.
Chris Handsome: WOW that’s a name I haven’t heard in years.
James Elvin: Well think about this. So he starts this shithole on the back of IWF and steals Mysterious X aka Mark Murder. Not to be confused with the Mysterious X here. Black Tiger was a different kid on our roster, Tank was a guy I was trying to sign, Macen Clark has a small cup of coffee...and a few years later who shows up but Matt fucking Bourne.
Chris Handsome: Technically yes, but also his brand never got off the ground.
James Elvin: That’s no surprise to me! Look what he did to our brand? He deleted the entire tape library, burnt it down, and salted the fucking earth! IWF was huge and I have him the keys only to get screwed over in the end. We tried to rebrand as Insane Wrestling Federation, tried to fold into our hardcore fed PHW, and everything went to hell. Then Bourne shows up here. I think he was an RMW agent of chaos sent to put us out of business then X let him badly manage a side project until his contract was up.
Chris Handsome: That seems a little conspiratorial wouldn’t you say? If we’re being honest?
James Elvin: I don’t care if the truth falls somewhere in the middle. This company was founded on bitterness, jealousy, and raunchy horseshit that quite frankly killed the territory maybe even the business. I sat on the sidelines for so long fuming...
Chris Handsome: Well what are you going to do if you win? If you say the territory is dead?
James Elvin: WHEN I win, this whole RMW name, tapes, legacy is going to be burned just like Matt Bourne did to me. Then I don’t know. Frankly I don’t care. The talent contracts are through a third party company owned by X so unless they want to sign with me instead of sit that out or X wants to start something new out west, who knows? This PPV is about folding all the titles into IWF and going out with a bang. I want to take everything from RMW and the RMW fans. This is about revenge. Anybody who jumps ship will get a nice payout from me, and then they can sit the contracts out.
Chris Handsome: This looked like an invasion to take over the fed and change over to IWF. So this is...going to be the end if you win? What makes you think Wifebeater is joining your side? Why would anyone?
James Elvin: Quit saying “if” you hack. This isn’t a wrestling angle this is me putting third rate talent, like you, out of a job and cleaning up the mess. Guys like Wifebeater want to move on. He’s been fucked over by X too.
Chris Handsome: Excuse me? Third rate talent like me?
James Elvin: Let me give you an example. They have a cum demon or some shit debuting. That’s the level of retarded bullshit that X let’s happen on his shows. Do you really think this is worth saving? Do you think you’re actually talented if you’re working here? We all know you had an “incident” when you were working on Nightline trying to catch perverts. They say to catch a criminal you have to think like one not act like one dipshit.
Chris Handsome: Okay this interview is over. Cut it Rich!
James Elvin: Yeah yeah you fucking coward pedophile..
Handsome stands up and throws his papers in the air. He spits right in Elvin’s face. James grabs him by the throat and slaps the piss out of him before security jumps in and the feed cuts.
Kirk Sandler: Well there you have it! Just like I was saying. Everything is on the line. He’s going to put all of us out of a job! I’m begging any RMW wrestlers considering the payoff to think about what you’re doing. Tonight’s main event is going to showcase that, despite all the other bullshit on this show, RMW is the best wrestling around.
We cut to the ring where the ropes have been replaced by barbed wire and the two wrestlers are already in the ring.
Kirk Sandler: Hannibal puts his mask on the line in a grudge match against Genocide who has opted to put the briefcase on the line. Of course in that briefcase is the money he took from Murder to betray his friend. Hannibal refused to wrestle him unless he put it up.
The match starts with Genocide and Hannibal circling each other. They both throw low kicks and front kick jabs. Nothing connects. Genocide is wearing jeans and white T-shirt. Hannibal is wearing his normal red pants but taped up to keep them tight along with taped up thick knee pads. He has a grey shirt on and arms all taped.
Kirk Sandler: Their hands are taped up to avoid cuts. Both guys dressed differently too as you can tell and are being very careful right now. This one is going to hurt.
Genocide goes to shoot low, but Hannibal cartwheels out of the way and leg drops the back of his neck! Hannibal follows up with a flurry of punches to his face. He catches Genocide with a hard grazing shot to the eyebrow that busts him open.
Kirk Sandler: Not even to the barbed wire and he’s busted open!
Hannibal drags Genocide by his hair to the bottom rope of barbed wire and attempts to push his face into it. Genocide bites his taped fingers and pushes him back. Through the whole in the tape Hannibal’s middle finger comes out and the audience pops.
Kirk Sandler: Here we go! Genocide better figure out a way to survive this!
Genocide gets to one knee, reaches in his tights, and as Hannibal rushes him he throws a fireball!
Kirk Sandler: A freaking fireball!!
Hannibal stumbles back and Genocide dropkicks him backwards into the barbed wire!
Kirk Sandler: Into the wire my god!
Hannibal is stuck by his shirt. Genocide is throwing right hands and kicks just pummeling him. He tears Hannibal’s shirt off and frees him, throwing him to the mat. Then he grabs the legs for a slingshot into the barbed wire, but as he launches him Hannibal catches himself in mid air and lands on the middle rope. Genocide turns around and gets caught!
Kirk Sandler: Asai moonsault from the barbed wire rope!
Hannibal can’t see very well he’s blinded in one eye and stumbling. He reaches down and grabs the shirt and rips it off Genocide. He then motions to the audience, grabs him in a headlock and lifts him in a front duplex position. Genocide knees him in the head, stumbles down and lifts Hannibal up for a suplex! They fall backwards into the barbed wire! The ropes snap and the two of them fall through and get wrapped up in the barbed wire.
Kirk Sandler: We need help!
The Ringside crew rushes to cut them out. Both are bleeding from everywhere in their torso. Genocide grabs a handful of the cut wire and punches Hannibal in the eyes. He screams bloody murder and blood rushes from the mask. Hannibal scrambles out the wire and rolls back into the ring. He grabs a chair on the way.
Kirk Sandler: I think he’s hurt two bad. We need emergency medical staff ASAP!
Genocide attempts to climb into the ring but he’s still trapped in the wire. He gets onto the mat but can’t move. Medical staff are trying to cut him out but he grabs the bolt cutters and starts going after Hannibal. He moved about 3 feet before falling to his knees in agony. A piece of his intestine is popping out of a cut in his stomach.
Kirk Sandler: Oh my god stop this. Are they using fucking razor wire?
The now blind Hannibal swings the chair and hits the wire next to Genocide.
Kirk Sandler: He can’t even see!
Hannibal uses the chair like a walking stick to find Genocide. Once he taps him with the chair he raises it in the air, turns it sideways like an ax, and BAM! He hits once, twice, three, four..
Kirk Sandler: Jesus fucking Christ!
Hannibal is chopping him down his head is literally split open. Genocide slumps down possibly in a coma. The ref calls for the bell and Hannibal collapses holding his eyes. Police, ambulance, fireman rush the ring to free Genocide and give medical attention.
Kirk Sandler: Hannibal wins by KO I guess. That was too far...
The ref hands Hannibal the briefcase. He opens it and bars of cocaine drop everywhere. The police look at each other in shock. Hannibal crawls on his hands and knees but collapses into a bloody heap.
Up in the rafters Wifebeater sees the police and gets scared. He drops his bottle of Eagle Rare off it hits the mat and almost crowns a cop. He loudly slurs “oh shit” and starts drunkily running away. It’s more like a sideways falling shuffle and he tumbles off the scaffolding onto a group of women and children in a VIP nest off to the side.
Kirk Sandler: He almost fell to his death! Lucky for him he fell on that group of...oh no, that’s MADD and the Parental Advisory board.
Wifebeater trys to stand up but it’s almost as if he’s swimming through the group flailing his arms around like a fish out of water. He knees a woman in the face and she goes into a seizure.
Wifebeater: Oops excuse me, solly. ‘Hiccup’
He uses two twin girls heads to push himself up and runs towards the emergency exit, trips, and falls through setting off the fire system. The lights go dim and sprinklers are going off with a loud alarm. The audience scatters trampling each other. In the darkness The Heroin Brothers rush to ringside and grab the coke.
Kirk Sandler: Looks like we’re out of time!
Show ends with all this chaos going on and fades out on a shot of the fat cow lady fan throwing punches to exit the building.
