Post by wifebeater on May 21, 2020 16:59:50 GMT -5
We begin with an intro video filled with blood and violence played to the lovely sound of Faith No More's Surprise You're Dead. The show opens to Kirk Sandler and 2-Dope at the announcers desk. The camera is pointed at them similar to how it used to be done on Nitro.
Kirk Sandler: Hello wrestling fans and welcome to the bloodiest night in sports! As your commissioner and lead commentator, I can promise you'll get what you paid for this evening.
Kirk has the Commissioner Championship Belt draped over his shoulder.
2-Dope: And I'm just happy to have my job back!
Kirk Sandler: Yes, thanks for getting off cocaine Mr. Dope. Anyway, tonight's tournament is going to be explosive!
2-Dope: Literally!
Kirk Sandler: The first round matches and their stipulations are as follows:
[LOSER LEAVES TOWN 3 WAY DANCE]
Gilbert Webster vs Money Man vs James Callander
-One fall match with the two losers being fired on the spot
[STEEL CHAIR MATCH]
-Homeboy vs War Pig
-You can only win with a pinfall after a chairshot.
[TABLES MATCH]
Doc Martin VS The Truck
-First man to go through a table will lose
[CRUCIFIXION MATCH ]
Mark Murder vs The Anarchist
-A cross with straps on it is brought to ringside. The first man to tie his opponent to the cross is the winner
[LIGHT TUBE DEATHMATCH]
Mike Bowen VS Black Tyger
-Lightubes are tied to the ropes and set up on boards in the turnbuckles. First pinfall wins.
[MMA MATCH]
Tank vs Macen Clark
-3 10 minute Rounds. Submission or KO.
[IWF CHAMPIONS LEAGUE MATCH]
Mark Shaw VS Mac Daddy Squid
-Pinfall, Submission, Count Outs, and DQs. A first for RMW.
[LAST BLOOD MATCH]
Day Drinker VS Legend
-First person to bleed wins. A razor knife is duct taped to the top of a large metal pole sticking up from the ringpost. You must use this knife.
2-Dope: This might be too far even for RMW.
Kirk Sandler: It's a Deathquest to crown a first ever Undisputed Champion! No length is too far, no extreme too extreme. Ladies and gentlemen.....welcome to RMW Deathquest coming to you from the MoneyVerse!
2-Dope: That's the name of this shithole building?
Kirk looks around at the cracks and leaks nodding approvingly.
Kirk Sandler: Let's start the first round!
[LOSER LEAVES TOWN 3 WAY DANCE]
Gilbert Webster vs Money Man vs James Callander
-One fall match with the two losers being fired on the spot
Break it Down Again by Tears for Fears plays out of the PA system. Gilbert Webster (wearing a red suit with green question marks) cartwheels down the ramp and attempts to slap the hands of fans, but they recoil.
2-Dope: Does he have shit on his hands?
Kirk Sandler: What? No. He just sucks and these Michigan fans hate him!
Gilbert Webster slaps the rings steps and rolls under the bottom rope. A brown handprint can be seen smeared on the steps.
Kirk Sandler: Well what the fuck.
The sound of change falling is the entrance theme to this next guy, James Callander, who comes to the ring in his business suit carrying an office desk.
Kirk Sandler: This guy is another weirdo looking to make his final entrance in RMW. Him and Gilbert came in around the same time to RMW and just never caught on.
2-Dope: Does he have shit all over his suit?
Kirk Sandler: Why would he?
2-Dope: Why would Gilbert?
Callander sets the desk up against the ring and climbs onto it to stare in at Gilbert Webster. Callander pulls a stapler from his pocket and motions to Webster to come get some.
2-Dope: Seriously he’s covered in shit too!
Kirk Sandler: Hold on a second...we have a feed to the back.
A bunch of EMTs are crowded into the bathroom surrounding a stall. The camera man pushes his way in to find Money Man laying head first in the toilet with shit everywhere in the stall.
Kirk Sandler: Well that kind of explains it.
2-Dope: Money Man is covered in shit too!
Kirk Sandler: Clearly these two took him out. They always kind of had a weird alliance.
2-Dope: WOW look at this!
We cut back to Callander holding Webster over the top rope in a headlock and stapling the fuck out of the back of his head. Webster is punching him repeatedly in the balls at the same time.
2-Dope: Technical Wrestling here by these two eccentrics!
They sound like two dying deer with the weird fucked up noises they’re making. Callander lets go and drops his stapler. Webster springboards to the second rope, jumps over the rope, and catches Callander with a DDT.
Kirk Sandler: Through the office desk!!!
2-Dope: Covered in shit, blood, and sticky notes!
The drawers to the desk explode out and supplies just go everywhere. Webster picks up a clipboard and climbs to the top rope.
Kirk Sandler: What’s he gonna do with that?
Webster soars using the clipboard like Genocide used to put a chair under his leg, and leg drops it into the mess of wood.
2-Dope: Super effective hold.
Kirk Sandler: We got a pin here!
1
2
Kirk Sandler: but no he kicks out!
2-Dope: I have a question.
Kirk Sandler: Yes?
2-Dope: How many times have we seen these two go through a desk? More or less times than a Wifebeater vs X match?
Kirk Sandler: I don’t know, but nobody wants to see this. As the commish I’m okay with firing both of these guys.
2-Dope: It’s a shame one of these two is gonna win.
The lights in the arena go out.
Boom chick boom chick “Dead Money Walking” followed by generic rock mix hits the PA system. Money Man rides out on a bicycle wearing a trench coat and his usual blue chaps.
2-Dope: This bout to GET FUCKED!
Money Man speeds down the ramp, takes his feet off the pedals like a child, and as he’s getting near the ring mats the trench coat gets stuck in the wheel and he wipes out.
2-Dope: Head bouncing like a basketball!
Kirk Sandler: Oh my..
Gilbert Webster picks up Callander and slaps him to wake up. He points over at Money Man. The two shake hands and head over. Money Man is crawling. James pulls a letter opener out of his pocket and stabs Gilbert in the shoulder.
Kirk Sandler: Jesus! A double cross!
Gilbert grabs his arm and screams. Callander jumps onto Money Man for a pin attempt.
1
NO
Gilbert dives on the pin to break it up. Callander rolls him off and hammerfists Gilbert in the side of the head. He lifts him onto his shoulders and climbs up the apron and looks around.
2-Dope: If he’s looking for a pop it ain’t happening with this crowd.
Callander climbs higher, up to the top rope, with Gilbert on his shoulders in a Death Valley driver position. The crowd is still dead. Callander looks over at Gilbert Webster on his shoulders. Webster is crying.
Gilbert Webster: Come on! Do it! Come on!
James Callander: I’m sorry...I love you.
Callander’s dress shoe slips on the shit that’s covering the rope.
Kirk Sandler: AHHHHH
They botch and fall off the ropes like Tank and Big Al, landing headfirst into the broken desk. The audience gasps. Money Man crawls over and puts his hand over the mess.
2-Dope: Pin!!!
1
2
3!!!!!
Jacob Carter: Your winner and still employed...Money Man!!!
The three “wrestlers” lay in a heap not moving or really breathing to be honest. Very shallow breathing. The show cuts to the announcers desk like the old Nitro setup. Kirk and 2-Dope stare at the camera for 30 seconds.
Producer: You’re on guys!
Kirk jumps.
Kirk Sandler: Well there you have it folks. X wanted two of these guys gone so there it is. Jame Callander and Gilbert Webster no longer work here. Money Man will move on in the Deathquest Tournament... unfortunately.
2-Dope is still staring wide eyed into the distance. Kurt nudges him.
2-Dope: What’s that in the ring?
James and Gilbert are inside the ring taking off wrist tape and waving to the crowd. James gets a mic.
James Callander: Whew...I didn’t think this would be this hard...I’ve loved wrestling and wrestling has loved me. This career has been..
Producer (very audible): Nope cut that we don’t need that. Get away from that.
[STEEL CHAIR MATCH]
-Homeboy vs War Pig
-You can only win with a pinfall after a chairshot.
The camera is back at the desk and the two announcers are again staring in the distance. A police siren trap song is playing in the background. The camera cuts back to the ring as RIOT and War Pig are in there beating the fuck out of Callander and Webster with billy clubs.
Jacob Carter: The following contest is a Steel Chair match in round one of the Deathquest Tournament! Now making his presence known, he’s the law...this is War Pig!!!
Building security drag Callander and Webster out of the ring. RIOT and Pig keep swinging.
War Pig: I’ll beat you like a nigger! I’ll do it like a nigger!
Kirk Sandler: Can we cut again?!
Homeboy comes from the crowd with JZ. They climb to the rope ropes holding chairs. War Pig and RIOT turn around to both get crowned!
2-Dope: My boys!
Homeboy quickly covers War Pig
Jacob Carter: Now in the ring, his opponent...
1
2
3!!
Jacob Carter: and winner of this first round Deathquest match...Homeboy!!!!
JZ and Homeboy roll out of the ring and run back into the crowd.
2-Dope: What a match!
Kirk Sandler: That was a match!?
2-Dope: Smelter says....7! He gave it a goddamn 7!
Kirk Sandler: I thought it was out of 5?
2-Dope: They broke the star ratings!
War Pig and RIOT get back up and look out to the crowd.
War Pig: Im gonna fuck on em like a bunch of n...
Before he can get it out, the show cuts to a promo for RMW BloodBowl. It’s got shitty graphics of a football field with a bomb being thrown and money and blood exploding everywhere when the guy catches it. “The Big Game of Tag Team wrestling for all the gold!"
Kirk Sandler: Yes folks we're going to crown new tag team champions too!
2- Dope: Why?
Kirk Sandler: We will find out!
2- Dope: Is that the next show? Can I have the night off?
Kirk Sandler: No and absolutely no. The next show will be Nuke Net Returns, featuring The new Nuke Net 2000, but as the commissioner I wanted to get ahead of the tag team title rumors out there. Also, I need you here.
2-Dope: Speaking of tag teams I'd like to see the next two guys team up.
[TABLES MATCH]
Doc Martin VS The Truck
-First man to go through a table will lose
Sum of Your Achievements by Point Blank. There are staff members setting up tables all around the ring.
2-Dope: It's like a moat of bullshit around the ring!
Kirk Sandler: It's table time!
Doc Martin marches down the ramp to his music. He gets into the ring and puts his chokeslam hand into the air causing pyro to shoot from the turnbuckles. From under the ring two guys in sunglasses, backward baseball caps and black trenchcoats rush in with extended lead steel pipes.
Kirk Sandler: Wait who the hell are those guys?!
2-Dope: They got custom pipes. Hmm.
The two mystery men double team Doc Martin. One goes to work on his head the other on the knees. Doc can't get in close enough to stop them. He won't crumble though. Doc stumbles into the corner and they refuse to let up.
Kirk Sandler: Look to the entrance way!
The Truck sprints full speed from behind the curtain out to ringside. As he gets to the end of the ramp two men jump the barricade, one from each side.
2-Dope: Mr. Goodbar and John the Baptist! Some stable individuals to bring this show back to a solid base.
They stab truck with forks and knee him in the nuts. Truck is swinging widly, but the two maniacs duck the punches, lift him, and dunk him through a table!
2-Dope: Does that mean Truck lost since he went through the table?
Kirk Sandler: He didn't even get to the fucking ring!
Goodbar and Baptist grab a special table from under the ring. It's solid thick glass with a steel frame. They slide it in. The two trenchcoat guys are still pummeling Doc with the pipes.
Kirk Sandler: Enough is enough!
Baptist sets up the fucked up table in the ring. On the outside Goodbar is wiring a table with some weird stuff. Goodbar sets it up near the apron, and climbs up onto the apron.
Kirk Sandler: This is straight fucked. The worst is that, as the commissioner, I can't even stop this!
Suddenly Truck leaps up onto the apron and grabs Goodbar by the head. He starts pounding on his back while holding him in a front chancery. Inside the ring John and the two guys lift Doc Martin up to the top rope.
Kirk Sandler: C'mon Truck!
Truck lifts Goodbar up into a suplex but it's very wobbly and he barely has him. Goodbar slips and falls off his shoulders on to the table..
2-Dope: What the fuck!?!?
The table literally explodes like a bomb as Goodbar hits. Fire and smoke puff up into the air. Shrapnel hits the lucky front row fans.
Kirk Sandler: He's dead. Oh God. Was that a bomb? Did he wire up a bomb?
2-Dope: Ain't called the Murder Family not for nuthin!
Truck stumbles into the ring through the ropes just as the two mystery guys and John the Baptist put Doc through the steel glass table with a triple slam from the top! The glass table shatters as the steel frame bends around Doc.
Kirk Sandler: He's cut up bad you can see and that table frame is wrapped around him!
2-Dope: Like a pig in a steel glass blanket!
Truck gets to his feet and runs into the group, but gets tagged hard in the head with a pipe. He's swinging violently as he stumbles into the ropes. The two trenchcoat fellas double dropkick Truck in the back and he stumbles forward toward Jon the Baptist, who backdrops him over the ropes through a barbed wire table!
Kirk Sandler: Goddamn it he's tangled up in that barbed wire!
2-Dope: Commish you gotta do something, bro!
Kirk Sandler: I'm not sure what the hell I CAN do?
Revolution is my Name by Pantera hits and Mark Murder parts the curtain, carrying the cross for the next match. He also has a mic. He stops at the end of the ramp and plants the cross.
Mark Murder: Now after I crucify this fuck, I'm requesting a by in the next round. Doc and Truck just aren't going to make it.
2-Dope: What a fucking joke. DQ him from the tournament.
Kirk: Well, I'm getting word the winner will get a by, but if this happens again it's a DQ. So...whatever. I'm powerless here.
2-Dope: Pussy.
Mark Murder: Also, thank you to the hired guns of the evening, Dylan & Eric. Trenchcoat Mafia.
Kirk: Really?
Suddenly a body flys from the balcony of the building and misses the Murder Family by a mile, hitting the guardrail and crumbling into a ball.
Kirk: Okay this is out of hand. This whole fucking tournament.
2-Dope: You seem desensitized to The Anarchist just dying in front of us.
Kirk: How many times has he fell from the top building?
2-Dope: Really question is how many times does he have left?
Kirk: I truthfully and honestly think this is it.
[CRUCIFIXION MATCH ]
Mark Murder vs The Anarchist
-A cross with straps on it is brought to ringside. The first man to tie his opponent to the cross is the winner
The Murder Family (Baptist, Trenchcoat Mafia) pick him up on their shoulders like martyr and carry him to the bottom of the entrance ramp where Mark Murder awaits with the barbed wire cross.
2-Dope: From this angle we can see that Mr. Goodbar is still breathing.
Kirk: Just wonderful news, Dope.
2-Dope: Yeah I was getting worried. So, question for you as the commissioner, do they have to use nails on his hands for it to count as a crucifixion.
Kirk: This wasn’t my idea.
2-Dope: Interesting deflection.
Mark Murder is handed the lifeless corpse of The Anarchist and stands him up. Blood runs from his mouth. Murder wraps the barbed wire around his wrists and his body slumps. The bell rings.
Jacob Carter: Your winner by way of crucifixion…Mark Murder!!!!!
The Murder Family huddle around Mark as he lifts his arms to the air looking for divine praise.
The camera points back at Kirk Sandler and 2-Dope who looked drained.
Kirk: Well we still have a long way to go in the first round, and if we make it by hook or crook we’ll have the second round of the tournament.
2-Dope: You know I never understood semifinals.
Kirk: Why?
2-Dope: If I understood why I didn’t understand them I’d probably understand it.
Kirk: Next up is a match I’m not going to be biased about. Mike Bowen vs Black Tyger. Every fan out there knows how I feel about Bowen, they’ve seen the bloodshed, but tonight he’s going to get put right in his place by Black Tyger.
2-Dope: What place is that? Semifinals?
Kirk: Would you stop?
[LIGHT TUBE DEATHMATCH]
Mike Bowen VS Black Tyger
-Lightubes are tied to the ropes and set up on boards in the turnbuckles. First pinfall wins.
From Out of Nowhere by Faith No More hits as Mike Bowen strolls onto the stage carrying a water bottle. He casually makes his way to the announce table and spits right in Kirks mouth as he’s talking. Kirk jumps up and 2-Dope holds him back.
Kirk Sandler: Motherfuck! You motherfucker!
Mike belly laughs and walks down the ramp. He slides under the bottom rope and taunts the audience. The ring has boards with lighttubes in the corners, boxes of lighttubes setting around, and lightubes crudely tied to the ropes.
Kirk Sandler: He’s fucking dead! Gonna get his ass killed!
2-Dope: I mean, not yet Kirk.
Kirk shoots him a dirty look. That Zach Gowen theme song hits and Black Tyger makes his way out from 2003. Just to be descriptive he he’s wearing his tiger mask, singlet with long tights. Tyger sprints down to the ring as Bowen taunts the audience, and slides in the ring to confront him. Mike turns around and gets hit with 6 or 7 palm strikes in the chest. He stumbles. Tyger kicks him in the balls, steps back, and dropkicks him hard. Bowen flys back into the ropes and crumbles as the lighttubes shoot glass everywhere including the audience.
Kirk: Oh yeah! Here we go!!!!
Mike lays in a pool of blood reaching out from the under the ropes to the outside. Tyger is in karate position waiting for him to get up and get his ass beat some more. MB shoots to his feet, holding a small lightube light that’s plugged in, and smashes it in Tygers face causing an explosion of glass and electricity! The lights flicker in the building. Smoke rises from the mask as Bowen covers.
Kirk Sandler: NO! NO WAY!
1
2
Tyger kicks out! But just barely.
2-Dope: This ain’t going how you thought it would huh?
Kirk: I’m about to fuck you up too.
2-Dope: At least take me out to lunch first.
Bowen empties a box of lighttubes onto the mat. He grabs Tyger, tosses him into the ropes that no longer have tubes on them, and lifts him for a Bowen Bomb aka the Lo-Down, but Tyger using his amazing agility reveres it into a hurricanrana onto the lighttubes! Bowens head goes crashing into the glass. Tyger can’t quite grab the leg. The two men lay on the mat covered in blood and glass.
Kirk Sandler: C’mon Tyger! Get the cover!
2-Dope: The only thing that he’s covered with is blood!
The two men slowly crawl to their feet. MB grabs a tube, and Tyger grabs a tube. They had a stand off both men now bleeding and woozy. MB swings his tub like a ballbat, Tyger ducks and nails him in the midsection with his! Mike stumbles back and hits an overhead shot! Tyger goes down with the glass flying all over the canvas. Mike falls to his knees for the cover.
1
2
Kirk Sandler: Tyger kicks out again! What fighting spirit!
Mike screams fuck audibly. He reaches down to his midsection and clutches the blood seeping through his shirt. This makes him visibly more pissed. He grabs Tyger by the mask and flips off the audience. Tyger is pulled to his feet. He can barely stands as Mike looks in his face talking shit. He lurches back and spits in Tygers eyes, but as the spit flys Tyger lands a shot right in the balls!
Kirk Sandler: Instant karma gonna getcha every time!
Mike holds his crotch and Tyger lifts him up for scoop into a sitout slam! He holds him for the quick pin
1
2
2-Dope: KICKOUT!
Kirk Sandler: How?!
Tyger picks shards out of his elbow as he stands up. MB lays on the mat in agony. Tyger climbs to the top rope and points down at MB.
Kirk Sandler: Finish it!
Tyger attempts a 450 splash that MB rolls out of the way of, leaving Tygers face smashing into the glass on the mat. He holds his face as MB stumbles to his feet. Tyger stumbles up as well. He turns around, MB grabs him around the waist, and launches him with a belly to belly suplex through the lightube board in the corner!
2-Dope: Well its over.
Kirk Sandler: I don’t think so. It can’t be.
2-Dope: Cmon he just smashed through all that glass and wood. He looks like Wifebeaters coffee table after a domestic dispute.
Mike drags up to the center of the ring, grabs a box of lighttubes, and dumps them on top. Mike points as his cock and spits at him. As he climbs to the top the fans boo. MB flips them middle fingers.
2-Dope: Start the countdown of the end of Black Tyger folks.
MV comes off the top with a splash but Tyger smacks him in the face with a tube in mid air! Tyger dashes with his hit and MB falls alone into the pile of lighttubes! Black Tyger immediately covers him.
1
2
3!!!
Kirk Sandler: Yes! YES! He did it!
2-Dope: By the grace of god and skin of his nuts.
Tyger’s hand is raised as MB rolls around not knowing which wound to lick. Covered in blood and glass sticking to him with the blood. He’s a total mess.
Kirk Sandler: He beat himself tonight.
2-Dope: Yeah I don’t know if Black Tyger could’ve done it alone.
Kirk Sandler: What the hell does that mean?
2-Dope: If MB just pinned his ass he would’ve won. Now this Tyger is all messed up and has to survive the rest of the tournament. A small victory for sure.
The camera cuts to Kirk and 2-Dope sitting at the announce table.
Kirk Sandler: You might be right, but I’d never count this guy out. In the meantime, while they clean this mess up, lets go to our next match. An MMA fight between Macen Clark and Tank. We’ve got an octagon cage setup in the parking lot.
2-Dope: This one is a long time coming. Macen has been taking dudes out left and right in short order with his MMA style.
Kirk Sandler: Very true, but Tank has been training with MMA names for years. He’s incorporated some of that into his style over his career, but this is a different animal.
2-Dope: I think this favors the MMA guy.
Kirk Sandler: You gotta understand this is also an attempt at redemption for Tank after the IWF debacle. He finally won the big one and joined the wrong team. Lost it all.
2-Dope: To me it was total bullshit and this tourney is punishment for him turning his back on RMW.
Kirk Sandler: Hey if he’s as good as he thinks he is it should be no problem.
[MMA MATCH]
Tank vs Macen Clark
-Octagon Cage. Submission or KO.
The scene star wipes to the Octagon in the parking lot. Tank and Macen Clark stand in opposite corners, both wearing their normal wrestling attires. A referee stands in the middle and moves his arms towards the center screaming FIGHT
Kirk Sandler: No pomp here just straight to the action!
2-Dope: Both these fellas got a lot to prove.
Tank and Macen rush to the center and each throw a hand up trying to bait each other. They’re feeling each other out here. Macen throws a couple kicks at Tanks calf and he checks them easily no-selling hands up. Macen throws a right jab and misses, but catches Tank with a left. Tank backs up. Macen attempts to close the distance but Tank throws a couple jabs to fight him off.
2-Dope: I don’t know how to call this style. It’s not pro wrestling style.
Kirk Sandler: “Pro wrestling style”
Macen corners him on the cage throwing wild jabs as Tank keeps the hands up. Tank fires back with a couple jabs of his own. Neither guy connecting solid. Tank dodges to the right and attempts to get behind him for a german suplex style position, but Macen ducks out, gets under Tank, and slams him to the mat. They jockey for position as Macen fights to stay on top. Tank throwing punches from the bottom. Macen grabs his punch and holds his arm in place. They just kind of lay there for 30 seconds before the ref breaks it up and pulls them to their feet. As they’re getting up Tank lunges at Macen to take a slight punch, and falls back into the ref with a huge back elbow. The ref holds his face and turns away.
Kirk Sandler: Oh come on
2-Dope: Muai thai ref bump
Tank shoots for a takedown, but Macen grabs him in front facelock. Tank immediately punches Macen in the balls. Macen pounds him on the back with his free hand. Tank punches him in the nuts again, again, again. Macen lets go and Tank gets completely vertical and kicks him in the balls. Macen collapses and Tank knees him in the face. The ref turns around to see Tank jump on him and put him in a headlock situation. The ref sees Macen is out and calls for the bell.
Jacob Carter: Your winner, by knockout….Tank!
Kirk Sandler: What a crock of fucking shit.
Tank leaves the cage like he stole something. Macen comes to and throws a shit fit. The ref attempts to calm him down from the decision. Macen grabs the ref by the shirt and nails him in the face with a right hand. He kicks the ref in the nuts and as the ref falls to the mat he knees him in the face.
2-Dope: Well lets just move on from this shit.
Kirk Sandler: Even if I don’t like the guy its clear he got robbed.
2-Dope: So do dozens of people every day in this neighborhood.
[IWF CHAMPIONS LEAGUE MATCH]
Mark Shaw VS Mac Daddy Squid
-Pinfall, Submission, Count Outs, and DQs. A first for RMW.
Kirk Sandler: Now we’re back looking at a cleaned up ring here in what should be one of the most outrageous stipulations in RMW history….a wrestling match.
2-Dope: What’s that?
Kirk Sandler: 10 Count on the outside, Disqualifications, Rope Breaks, 5 count to break a hold…
2-Dope: That’s wild where did they come up with that shit?
Hate Me Now by NAS hits as Mark Shaw comes out from behind the curtain sporting an IWF t-shirt. The audience are booing the shit out of him. He struts like a cocky dick down to the ring spitting water and tell fans to suck his cock.
Kirk Sandler: Lot of balls to come back here after the whole IWF thing fell apart. Thanks to his opponent of course.
2-Dope: You’re right he’s got at least 3 balls to wrestle in RMW after that. You know I heard this Mark Shaw guy was a great straight up wrestler, but Ive never seen a match like that before. So I’m interested to see what that is.
Kirk Sandler: Long history between Squid and Mark Shaw. While RMW was starting up, Squid was also a huge name in the IWF, but Mark Shaw made it his mission to play politics to keep him from winning the big one including handcuffing him to the ropes in a title match that Squid rightfully had won.
2-Dope: Revenge is a dish.
Kirk Sandler: Yeah…and…
2-Dope: What?
Beneath by Nothingface explodes out of the PA system as Mac Daddy Squid makes his long-awaited in-ring return.
Kirk Sandler: But as I was saying this is all revenge tonight for this man. Squid booked this match so he could get his comeuppance after a decade. He wants to finally prove that hes the better man.
Squid slides under the ropes and gestures to the audience for Mark to suck his dick. The RMW faithful cheer.
Kirk Sandler: They hate Mark Shaw, but I’m weary of Squid’s intentions in RMW. I don’t think these fans are gonna love him for long.
2-Dope: That’s anybody. They’ll turn on you for no damn reason. Remember when I was over?
Kirk Sandler: No.
Squid and Mark Shaw square off. The bell rings as they grapple. Mark Shaw gets the advantage and performs an irish whip, but Squid reverses it and sends Mark Shaw into the ropes. Shaw rebounds back, Squid lifts him to his shoulders, and F-5!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kirk Sandler: F-5! The inkwell! Whatever you wanna call it!
Squid lifts Shaw off the mat, kicks him in the gut very close to the nuts, hooks the arms, and drives him to the mat with the pedigree!
2-Dope: SQUID HITS THE G-SPOT!
Squid covers.
1
2
3!!!!!
Kirk Sandler: That’s it?!
2-Dope: Once you hit the g-spot its all over my man! You wouldn’t know that, but there it is!
Squid stands above Mark Shaw with his arm raised. Shaw sits on his ass with his hand on his knee, wind knocked out of him, knowing he got his ass kicked.
Kirk Sandler: Part of me thinks that was a fluke.
2-Dope: How about that!
Squid kicks Shaw in the face. Mark Shaw falls backwards holding his now bloody exploded nose. Squid laughs as Mark struggles to get to his feet, and everytime Squid boots him in the face. Suddenly from the back James Elvin, former IWF owner, comes running down and slides in. He’s screaming.
James Elvin: That’s enough! You’re killing him!
Squid flatly boots Shaw as hard as he can right in the nose again. Mark crumbles backwards into a heap. He’s barely moving. Blood trickling from his nose. Squid sets his gaze at James Elvin.
James Elvin: Don’t you fucking dare, Squid. You know I tried for you. I tried to get you over back then. You understand why it had to happen the way it did. Cmon. I’m sorry.
Squid lifts him up on his shoulders, and drives him headfirst to the mat with an F-5 modified into a weird DDT. James goes limp.
Kirk Sandler: Well that’s it for IWF.
Squid stands tall among the bodies with Beneath by Nothingface playing. The RMW fans are chanting his name.
Kirk Sandler: This should’ve been Wifebeaters revenge, but well, this is what we get.
2-Dope: The fans don’t seem to mind.
Kirk Sandler: Not yet anyway.
[LAST BLOOD MATCH]
Day Drinker VS Legend
-First person to bleed wins. A razor knife is duct taped to the top of a large metal pole sticking up from the ringpost. You must use this knife.
2-Dope: Well Kirk I suppose it’s time for the last match of the first round huh?
Kirk Sandler: Yes. We have, for the first time in RMW history or in wrestling history, a Last Blood match. First guy to bleed wins.
2-Dope: So…that’s more like a first blood match? Cause in a First Blood match the last guy to be bleeding is the winner. But I guess you’re right if that’s a first blood match then a match with the first guy to bleed could be called a Last Blood match.
Kirk Sandler: Don’t overthink it.
2-Dope: Well I predict Wifebeater is going to win.
Kirk looks flustered.
Kirk Sandler: Huh? What? Wifebeater is not longer with the company. Daydrinker is a new wrestler.
2-Dope: Cmon we know its Wifebeater, champ. Commish. Whatever. You’re fucked.
Kirk Sandler: It is my responsibility, with this title belt, to deliver what RMW fans want. I’m the commissioner and I’m not going to give them a half-assed match. They’ll love this new superstar.
2-Dope: When do I get my shot at that belt?
Kirk Sandler: I don’t have to defend it.
2-Dope: Absolute power corrupts absolutely.
Firestarter by The Prodigy hits as new RMW wrestler Daydrinker makes his debut in this Undisputed RMW Championship death tournament. He comes out in a black sweater with the RMW logo on it, black sweat pants, white new balance shoes, fingerless gloves, and of course a red mask with green eye holes. He’s carrying a bottle of Wild Turkey and taking swigs and spitting it in the air all overhimself.
2-Dope: Wifebeater looks like he’s going to collapse from heat exhausation.
DD rolls into the ring and humps towards the audience who cheer his excessive drinking on. He’s covered in liquor.
La Bamba by Richie Valens hits and Legend walks out with Mysterious X rolling behind him in a wheelchair.
2-Dope: There’s the big boss. I thought he was out of the wheelchair?
Kirk Sandler: Who can keep track? I thought he was leaving running the company to me.
2-Dope: Well you fucked that up by bringing out Wifebeater in sweatsuit
Legend grabs a cheap looking red ladder from ringside and rolls into the ring. The razor knife is taped to the top of a metal pole on the turnbuckle. Somebody fucked up and its really high hence the ladder being placed at ringside. He rolls into the ring and the bell rings. DD hits a dropkick and sends the ladder into Legend’s face. Legend stumbles back into the turnbuckle. DD lifts the bottle of Wild Turkey but decides against smashing it against him I fear of opening a wound.
Kirk Sandler: Smart decision.
2-Dope: But they gotta use that razor knife to cut themselves right? So it wouldn’t count?
Kirk Sandler: We don’t need X saying “ring the bell” or anything.
2-Dope: Who’s we? Why do you got skin in the game? You just gonna admit that its Wifebeater or what?
DD kicks Legend in the gut and throws lefts and rights at the mid section as well. He moves as Legend flops forward down to the mat. DD grabs the ladder and climbs to the second rope. He flys off and smashes the ladder into Legends back. As Legend is down he sets the ladder up in the knife corner and Mysterious X is screaming and yelling from the wheelchair on the outside is distracted and gets hit from behind by Legend with body splash into the ladder.
2-Dope: He’s gotta keep his head in the game or Wifebeater is done for a second time. This is a must-win match for him.
Kirk Sandler: *head in hand* it’s not Wifebeater.
DD rolls on the mat in agony as Legend climbs over him and up the ladder. Very slowly rung by rung. He gets to the top and can barely get his fingertips towards the knife before he’s smashed in the back by DD whos now on top of the ladder with him. He grabs Legend and they soar to the mat with a huge back suplex! Both guys writhe in pain from the bump.
2-Dope: That hurt both guys. Especially when they don’t know how to take a proper bump. Fuck your back up real nice doing that.
Both competitors stumble to their feet. They begin exchanging punches. DD blocks a shot from Legend and hits a dusty elbow! Legend stumbles back and right back into another one! Legend is flopping around the ring as DD keeps smashing him with elbow shots. DD looks at Mysterious X and grabs a handful of his cock, gesturing towards him, as he hits a final big elbow that Legend collapses backwards and through the middle ropes like Terry Funk.
Kirk Sandler: It’s his match to lose now! All alone in there!
Suddenly Kirk is grabbed from the announcers table by Mac Daddy Squid, along with the commissioner title and drug down the entrance ramp.
2-Dope: Woah what the fuck yo?!
DD grabs the razor knife from top of the pole and starts to saw through his mask but the material is stronger than he thought. As he is standing up there sawing his face he’s distracted by Kirk Sandler being thrown under the bottom ropes. Mac Daddy Squid climbs into the ring after him tossing the commissioner title in. Kirk stands up and dusts off. Squid kicks him in the balls casually and he crumbles. DD stands at the top of the ladder looking down. On the other side of the ladder Mysterious X nails him with a haliburton briefcase and DD flips from the top of the ladder to the mat. Legend crawls into the ring and grabs the knife. He gets on his knees and stabs himself in the face like 6 times until blood is squirting out.
2-Dope: This is bizarre
Legend holds the knife up in victory with blood running out from under the mask. He collapses into heap blood pooling around him. X grabs a mic.
X: Alright Kirk looks like your boy lost again. He’s fired again. Daydrinker is fired too along with Wifebeater.
Squid pulls Kirk to his feet and hands him a mic holding him up.
X: I’m tired of my shows, my title belts, my company being a joke cause of that fat alcoholic piece of shit. We’re in Michigan now, and sure these people love this fucking guy, but they’ll get over it. This is a fresh start and I’m done with it, Kirk.
Kirk: X, listen..
X: Nah you listen. I gave you a supreme opportunity to run this show and the first chance you get you fuck on me. You think that’s gonna do you any favors? That commissioner title is an official title in RMW so I can’t strip it from you, but I can do this: it’s a 24/7 title now. Which means anytime or anywhere you have to defend it if there’s a ref.
A ref climbs into the ring.
X: Now let’s see if you can survive your first defense.
Mac Daddy Squid picks up Kirk and hits him with a huge F-5. Kirk is knocked out cold. Squid sits next to him and casually lays on him like a cocky prick.
1….2…..3!!
X: Your winner, and new Commissioner of RMW….Mac Daddy Squid!!!!
The fans boo and throw trash into the ring. Squid holds the commissioner title up in the air taunting them. Suddenly Squid is rolled up from behind and the ref slides to count.
1
2
3!!!!!!
DD grabs the belt from the mat and rolls out of the ring.
X: WHAT?! WHAT THE FUCK?!?! NO YOU SON OF A BITCH!!
DD runs up the map dragging the title behind him. The fans cheer, but they still aren’t sure that its Wifebeater. X kicks the bottom rope and throws his suit jacket off. Squid gets in his face and they are both screaming at each other. The ref is slowling attempting to leave the ring, but X pushes past Squid and grabs him by the shirt. The convertsation can be picked up on the mic.
X: The fuck are you doing? What the fuck was that you little prick?
Ref: He had a pinfall, it’s a 24 title man…I just followed the rules.
X nods his head and wipes the refs shirt off and tidys him up. Pats him on the head. He turns around into Mac Daddy Squid, who doesn’t share the same forgiveness, kicks him in the balls and hits him with a g-spot!!!
2-Dope: He hit the g-spot twice tonight, but I don’t feel good about it.
A graphic comes on the screen with the Round 2 Matchups. Presumably they were thought up, along with the variables and stipulations, before all this garbage went down.
[ALLEY MATCH]
Homeboy vs Money Man
- A fight in a literal alley wall with brick walls on each side. Only want to win is to escape over the chain link fence that blocks the alley in.
[MARK MURDER BY IN THE TOURNAMENT]
[THUMBTACK TOTAL WAR MATCH]
Black Tyger vs Tank
- The ring is filled with millions of thumbtacks. You cant see the mat. Pinfall or submission.
[TEXAS DEATH MATCH]
Mac Daddy Squid vs Legend
- Score a pinfall and your opponent has 10 seconds to answer the bell.
Back to the ring X grabs the mic as Squid lifts up the destroyed referee.
X: Alright ring the bell for this match.
The ring announcer looks with a furrowed brow. X leans over the top ropes.
X: If you don’t ring that fucking bell I’m going to ring your fucking bell you fraud.
[TEXAS DEATH MATCH]
Mac Daddy Squid vs Legend
- Score a pinfall and your opponent has 10 seconds to answer the bell.
Squid tosses the referee down to wake him up. Legend rolls over from the puddle of blood to his back. Squid puts his foot on his chest.
1..2..3
The ref begins the count.
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
DING DING DING
Jacob Carter: Your winner…Mac Daddy Squid!!
Squid and X each grab a limb and drag Legend out of the ring. A snail trail of blood behind his lifeless body.
2-Dope: Looks like Squid is going to the finals? I think? I can’t remember I don’t get it. This seems like a work. You people at home think Kirk will be back? I don’t want to call this show.
We cut backstage to Matt Bourne for some reason. He’s eating a cheeseburger holding a mic.
Matt Bourne: Hey everyone. New backstage interview Matt Bourne here. You might remember me from
Suddenly Daydrinker pushes his way into the frame looking behind his back clutching the belt.
Matt Bourne: So how cool is it to debut and win a belt?
Pieces of cheeseburger spray all over the mask. Daydrinker looks at him and then at the camera.
Daydrinker: Tomorrow…press conference…..be there
He runs away into the night. The camera cuts back to an empty announcing table with white dust all over the place. 2-Dope has left the building. We cut to an alleyway. Here we go.
[ALLEY MATCH]
Homeboy vs Money Man
- A fight in a literal alley wall with brick walls on each side. Only want to win is to escape over the chain link fence that blocks the alley in.
Homeboy hanging out in the the alley waiting for Money Man to make his appearance. Money man climbs over the chain link and the ref signals that this match is on. JZ and 2-Dope come out of the shadows with baseball bats and start smacking Money Man in the legs. This explains where 2-Dope went. In case you missed it they’re going by The South Central Cartel.
Homeboy smashes a bottle against the wall and slices Money Man’s forehead with the glass as he lays on the concrete holding his legs. The three boys stomp him out like a lit cigarette. Homeboy walks over to the fence, but stops himself to motion for JZ and 2-Dope to pick up their victim. He stands aside as they toss him into the chain ink fence…unfortunately the fence breaks and Money Man tumbles on the sidewalk. The bell rings. The three of them, looking dejected, walk over his dead body and just leave the scene.
Jacob Carter: And here is your winner….Money Man!
The camera lingers on Money Man laying on the sidewalk unconscious…much like the fans in the arena having to watch him wrestle.
Camera cuts back to the arena for the final match in this round. We know Mark Murder had a by so one of our semi-final matches is Mark Murder vs Money Man unfortunately. This match will determine who takes on Mac Daddy Squid
[THUMBTACK TOTAL WAR MATCH]
Black Tyger vs Tank
- The ring is filled with millions of thumbtacks. You cant see the mat. Pinfall or submission.
Out of My Way by Seether hits. Black Tyger comes out to a huge ovation. He’s all bandaged up and hurt from earlier, but he’s here and ready to fight. This is the biggest match of his life so far. He slaps the fans hands around the ring and climbs up on the turnbuckle. The ring is filled with a disgusting amount of thumbtacks. They’ll be sweeping these fucking things up for years. Tyger looks down and stays up on the turnbuckle as he waits for his opponent.
Sinner by Drowning Pool explodes over the PA system. The audience is already booing. Tyger looks up as the song hits. Tank comes out in jeans, cut-off tshirt, and wrapped up hands. He’s ready to fight. Tank turned on the fans like a punk thinking IWF was the way of the future. As tough as he is he’s proven himself to be a cocky little bitch in the last few weeks even taking the easy way out earlier just to get past the match. He jumps up onto the apron and climbs onto the turnbuckle diagonal from Black Tyger. They have a huge staredown as the audience just boos the hell out of him. He motions the belt sign around his waist. He isn’t unawake of the gravity of this match. Black Tyger motions to him and pounds his chest. Tank slaps his chest and throws his hands in the air. They silently agree….
Both guys jump at each other with flying dropkicks and they both connect as they fall into the ring of thumbtacks! The audiences explodes as thumbtacks spray out of the ring and in the air. It’s fucking chaos. You can barely see both guys who are covered head to toe in thumbtacks and blood. They get to their feet and exchange punches. Tyger kicks Tank in the leg as Tank throws a right jab that causes Tyger to stumble. Tyger falls into the ropes and comes back out to duck a wind up punch by Tank. He reaches the other side, jumps to the middle rope and springboards with a crossbody! They bump to the thumbtacks and more tacks fly all over the fucking place. The ref counts the pin.
1
Tank tosses Tyger off of him and kips up to his feet. Tyger immediately gets to his feet too and runs up the turnbuckle. He moonsaults and Tank ducks under. Tyger lands on his feet, but gets nailed with a huge lariat by Tank! Tank stays on the offense and grabs him by the mask to his feet to connect with a few more right hands. Tyger stumbles back. Tank follows and throws wild punches at a staggered Tyger. Tank stomps the shit out of him in the corner until Tyger falls to a sitting position. Tank with his foot on his neck jawjacks with the fans. Tyger kicks Tanks leg out from under him and he falls backwards into the tacks! The fans cheer!
Tyger gets to a vertical base and shakes off the damage. Tank stands up picking thumbtacks out of his arms. Tyger throws a front dropkick that Tank dodges out of the way of. Tyger hits the thumbtack covered mat hard. Tank picks up him, gets behind him, and sets him up for a Creeping Death into the thumbtacks!!!! It’s OVER! Tank covers.
1…..
2…..
KICKOUT by Tyger! Tank sits up shocked that somebody kicked out of his finish. Unbelievable. Tyger is still in this but he’s out of it bad after taking that move. Tank chuckles as blood runs out of his mouth from a thumbtack in his lip. He looks up at the turnbuckle. Tank stands up and drags Tyger with him to the turnbuckle. He pulls him to the top rope and does the neck throat slash symbol. Tank puts his arm around Tygers neck for what is assured to be a Creeping Death. As they go soaring Tyger repositions in mid air into a FUCKING HEART OF THE TY! HUGE CUTTER INTO THE THUMBTACKS!!! TYGER QUICKLY COVERS AS TANK SHUFFLES TO TRY TO GET OUT!!
1
2
3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BLACK TYGER WINS
He rolls out of the ring as Tank sits up groggy and confused at what just happened. It slowly dawns on him as we see his face drop. He holds his head in his hands. Tank vacated the IWF title, put it all on the line, and just lost clean. He’s out of the tournament! Everything he worked for in this company flashes before his eyes. This is only his second one on one loss in his entire career, but definitely the biggest. Tyger stands up with the ref holding his hand up. He’s covered in tacks and completely fucked up. He’s had the toughest tournament out of anyone. Lighttubes, tacks, who knows what’s next.
NEXT ROUND
[GRAVEYARD MATCH]
Money Man vs Mark Murder
- Whoever gets buried loses
[STRAP MATCH]
Black Tyger vs Mac Daddy Squid
- Two men are strapped together. Pinfall or submission.
[GRAVEYARD MATCH]
Money Man vs Mark Murder
- Whoever gets buried loses
In an effort to clean up the thousands of thumbtacks we go live to a graveyard near the building where presumably Mark Murder and Money Man are meeting up to square off. Nobody ever saw Money Man get up from the sidewalk. As the camera pans around Mark Murder is carrying a lit torch looking around. The rest of the Murder Family are probably lurking around. A wolf howls. Suddenly a moron on a bicycle comes riding through the graveyard towards Murder, and gets clotheslined into the dirt from the bike. Murder starts beating the fuck out of him with the lit torch and theres a bizarre high pitched scream.
“Please! Please stop! I quit! I quit!”
Murder follows him while beating him with the fire as he crawls towards the open grave. Money Man rolls in to get away. Mark Murder kicks the headstone down in and signals to a big dump truck, being driven by The Trenchcoat Mafia. They lift the back and dump a thousand pounds of dirt into the grave. Fucking guy is dead. A bell rings from somewhere.
Jacob Carter, from the arena, announces “Your Winner…..Mark Murder!”
[STRAP MATCH]
Black Tyger vs Mac Daddy Squid
- Two men are strapped together. Pinfall or submission.
Back to the arena, barely enough to to clean up the thumbtacks, we hear Out of My Way by Seether again. Black Tyger walks right back out completely fucked up from the last match. He’s still got thumbtacks stuck everywhere. This strap match is going to stop him from being able to fly completely changing his strategy. He climbs into the ring and kicks thumbtacks aside.
Beneath by Nothingface hits and Mac Daddy Squid comes out looking pissed and determined but also fresh as a daisy. He’s had a pretty easy tournament in comparison. A blood soaked fucked up looking Legend and Mysterious X follow him out. Conveniently X has ditched the wheelchair. Squid climbs into the ring and walks right past Tyger to climb the turnbuckle and taunt to the fans. The odds are stack here against Black Tyger.
The ref brings both men together and ties the strap around their wrists. First Squid, then Tyger. Just as the ref has the strap tied on Ty, Squid blindsides him with a huge lariat. Tyger goes down. Squid stares down the ref who rings the bell. Squid begins kicking the shit out of Tyger on the mat. Mysterious X gets on the apron and laughs at a limp Black Tyger getting stomped. Suddenly Legend grabs a cane from under the ring and smacks X in the back. X falls onto the apron and Legend beats the living shit out of. Legend jumps up and pulls a pillow out from under his sweatshirt. Squid turns around to confront “Legend” on the apron. Legend swings and Squid grabs the cane out of his hand and tosses it to the mat. From behind Black Tyger rolls him up!
1
2
3!!!!!!!
Tyger steals the win! Legend takes off his mask to reveal Wifebeater with bloodshot eyes and big grin. Tyger gets his hand out of the restraint and slides out of the ring. Wifebeater jumps up onto the turnbuckle and front flips into Squid as he stands up. Police, security, you name it rush the ring to grab Wifebeater. Out of My Way by Seether plays the background track to Wifebeater getting swarmed. Squid starts kicking into the crowd but the police back him off. X is throwing shit on the outside.
“You ruined it! You fucking ruined it again!!!!!”
We cut to the same commercial for RMW Bloodbowl from earlier. Then a commercial for RMW In Your Face Then a video package for a DVD “Unreleased, Uncut, RMW The New Class”.
[FACES OF DEATH MATCH]
RMW Undisputed Championship Finals
Mark Murder vs Black Tyger
- C4 has been rigged around the ring. A cage will be put around the ringside area (like HIAC with no roof) with razor wire on top to keep wrestlers out and the competitors in. The ringside area will be filled with loose barbed tumbleweeds. Like a moat of barbed wire. The ring is filled with thumbtacks, lighttubes wrapped around the ropes with barbed wire, lighttube boards in every corner. The time limit is set for 10 minutes. At the time limit the ring will explode. The only ways to win are pinfall and submission.
We’re back in the arena and Black Tyger is in the ring alone with a ref in a fucking bomb squad suit. The crew put a bunch of barbedwire tumbleweeds on the outside of the ring, barbed wire wrapped around the ropes, lightube boards in every corner, thumbtacks covering the ring, and C4 rigged up all around the ring. Black Tyger has his hands on his knees looking up at the entrance way. Suddenly we here a familiar voice on commentary.
Kirk Sandler: I’m back! For now. Fuck you Mysterious X, Squid, and even 2-Dope. Fuck it all. Despite everything tonight I needed to be here to call this match contracts or my career be damned. Black Tyger has been through hell tonight. Mark Murder has had it way easier, but The Murder Family will not be able to interfere in the match. It’s as even as it could be in this shithole company. I want to see my boy win the big one.
Satanic Rites of Drugula by Electric Wizard, a new entrance song for Mark Murder hits over the PA. He comes out in a robe with his hands outstretched.
Kirk Sandler: He knows damn well the odds are in his favor, but once he steps in that ring all bets are off. They got 10 minutes to try to finish this before the bombs go off. After that I suppose the winner is who’s got the most pieces left.
Murder gets to the end of the entrance ramp and walks through the open floor. As he climbs into the ring a tumbleweed of barbedwire fills the spot. He looks back behind him and laughs.
Kirk Sandler: There’s no going back now.
Mark Murder and Black Tyger have a staredown across from each other. The cage slowly lowers them drops to the ground with a huge startling thud.
Kirk Sandler: Now there’s really no going back. This is it. The title is up for grabs.
The camera cuts to the ref holding a black box briefcase holding the new Undisputed RMW Title, being unvielied for the first time tonight and presented to the winner. The camera cuts back to a wide shot of the ring as the bell sounds. A timer is on a big screen in the arena being used for the first time tonight.
10:00
9:59
9:58
The two wrestlers think about starting slow, but they waste no time coming at each other. Tiger kicks at Mark Murders legs. He connects twice, and on the third one Murder catches his leg and hits a dragon screw. Both guys bump into the thumbtacks and both groan in pain.
Kirk Sandler: Tyger didn’t even have to to retape his hands. This is brutal.
Tyger has a thumbtack in his palm that he pulls outs before stumbling to his feet. Mark catches him with a couple forearm shots to the back. Tyger drops down and hits a drop toe hold that sends Murder fast first into the lighttube board in the corner!
Kirk Sandler: Ohhhht damn!
Murder holds his face as he’s now covered in blood. He gets up quick, grabs Tyger, and hits a desperation body slam to the tacks before falling to the mat holding his face. Both guys lay for a second but realize they need to fight through this pain.
7:00
6:59
6:58
Mark gets to his feet first and picks glass out of his face. Tyger rolls through the thumbtack to the other side of the ring. Mark Murder closes the gap and gets punched in the guy by a waiting Tyger. Mark stumbles back. Tyger springboards off the middle ropes but the lighttubes busts from his feet and he falls backwards. Murder catches him in midair and hits a bridging german suplex onto the tacks! The ref counts
1
2
NO!
Tyger gets out of the pinning hold. Mark sits up and gets right back to his feet. He picks Tyger up, lifts him for a suplex, and just tosses him across the ring onto the thumbtack covered canvas! Tyger sits up in agony.
Kirk Sandler: He’s gotta come back here or its over.
Mark Murder grabs one of the lighttubes off of the board, strolls on over, and smashes it over Tygers head. Tyger is helpless on the mat. Muder picks him up all the way from the mat into a powerbomb, runs across the ring and tosses him through the lighttube boards!
Kirk Sandler: Damn that’s it..
Murder stalls to catch his breath as Tyger lies in the wooden broken mess completely broken. He lifts Tyger up from the mat again, walks to the center of the ring, and runs to another corner and tosses him through the light tube covered boards again!! Tyger is out. Mark Murder taunts to the back. The Murder Family comes out on the stage and stand there side by side watching the leader take his place at the top of the business.
Kirk Sandler: I don’t want to see these fucking assholes AT ALL out here
Murder pulls his body out of the wreckage, picks him up, and hits a huge powerbomb to the tack covered mat!
Kirk Sandler: Just pin him already before these fucking bombs go off.
Suddenly Tyger just pops up from the powerbomb and pounds his chest.
Kirk Sandler: Figthing fucking spirit!
Tyger hits rapid fire chops to Murders chest, elbows to the face, spins around and hits a huge help that rocks Mark Murder. Murder stumbles backwards and Tyger follows him with a huge dropkick that sends him into the lighttube wrapped ropes! They both collapse to the mat.
1:00
:59
:58
Kirk Sandler: Get up Tyger! Get up! Pin him!
Tyger and Mark get up at the same time. Mark kicks him right in the nuts and picks him up into a powerbomb position.
Kirk Sandler: Fuck come on kid! Fire up again! You got less than a minute!
Murder walks him to the center of the ring and looks at one of the last turnbuckle lighttube boards left.
Kirk Sandler: Well it worked before why not! Why not just kill the kid then?! As long as these fucking bombs don’t go off for fucks sake. We can’t trust the engineering on these!
Murder runs at full speed towards the turnbuckle, Tyger is able to shift his weight and reverse the powerbomb into a hurricanrana into the board! Murders head goes right through the boards! Tyger is worse for wear too.
Kirk Sandler: The buckle! Get up to the buckle!
Tyger rolls Mark out of the mess flat on his back. He looks up at the clock
:09
:08
He realizes he’s got no time to get this pin. Tyger, in a last ditch effort, gets to his feet and leaps to the top of the turnbkcle and holds on!
:03
:02
:01
Nothing happens. What looks like a sparkler goes off from one of the sides of the ring.
Kirk Sandler: Hmmm…
BOOOOOMMMMMMMM
A fucking massive bomb goes off around the ring and the mat explodes, thumbtacks and broken glass fly into the audience. People start running as smoke billows out from the ring. As the dust settles Black Tyger is still clutching the top rope. The bomb squad ref gets to his feet.
Kirk Sandler: Holy fuck!
The Muder Family rush to ringside. They look on from outside the cage to see if Mark is still alive. Mike Murder is frantic and panicking. In the ring Tyger stands up and hits a huge moonsault to the lifeless, blown to pieces, body of Mark Murder. The ref drops for the count.
1
2
3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kirk Sandler: TYGER WINS! TYGER WINS! BLACK TYGER IS YOUR NEW UNDISPUTED RMW CHAMPION!!!!
Black Tyger stands up from the smoke, broken wood, glass, tacks. He’s covered in tacks, cuts, bruises. He’s a mess. The bomb squad holds up the briefcase and unlatches it. Inside is the new belt. The strap is the RMW red color with RMW green stitching/trim and the plates are gold. This is a great looking belt. Tyger grabs the belt from the case and falls to his knees clutching it. He looks at it and back out at the audience. They explode in a huge Black Tyger chant
Kirk Sandler: Goddamn it! With a tear in my eye he fucking earned this! Through X, Squid, Murder Family, Mike Bowen, Tank…against all odds, against everything, he made it and survived to the end of this brutal tournament to walk out of here as the fucking champion! If this is my last call I wanna say I love you buddy! Long live RMW!!! Long live Black Tyger your Undisputed RMW Champion!!!
Jacob Carter: AND NEWWWW RMW CHAMPION….UNDISPUTED….BLACK TYYGGGEERRR!!!!
Fireworks go off as Out of my Way by Seether plays over the PA system. Black Tyger holds the belt up in the air as the audience gets emotional cheering and clapping. We go off the air, for once, with a happy ending.
