Post by wifebeater on Mar 9, 2012 2:37:10 GMT -5
Mysterious X is standing at a podium in-front of an audience of reporters.
"First order of business is the Hammerlock Pro Wrestling "invasion" from last week. As of 9:00am this morning I no longer own the rights to the HPW names, characters, trademarks, or tape library. It's been sold to Jack Hammer for an undisclosed sum. The only current wrestler who even uses an HPW gimmick or character is Cannonball Hall, and he owns the copyright himself. My lawyers feel that this was in our best interests to get rid of this stuff as it serves no purpose financially or historically. As you all know Mr. Hammer owns 25% of RMW, but the footage and trademarks were a separate entity filed by my behalf. I hope that this motion of gratitude will satisfy Mr. Hammer's "legacy" and provide him with the proper channels to continue his product. As of now, I assume, he will be a silent business partner and his disruptions of the RMW product will not continue."
"Now on to big RMW news. The brand split will end immediately. As you know we had broadcasted two episodes of Saturday Night Breakdown, but only one episode of Network Wrestling Presents: Ringside. ABNC had threatened to cancel Ringside after one episode because of the content. Even with a late slot on Monday nights they still felt it was too risque. We negotiated and negotiated, but they refused to air our product again unless we cut out much of what makes RMW, RMW.
So we were left with the choice of either shopping Ringside around and continuing to broadcast Breakdown or just canceling Ringside altogether. The brand split gave us a chance to branch out some of our long-time wrestlers and give them their time to shine, but the idea of leaving half of our talent roster sitting at home was not something we logically could go forward with. So we have dumped the program completely and the entire RMW roster as you know it will come together Saturday night at 11:30 PM for RMW: Saturday Night Breakdown. Going forward we will make an effort to balance our talent roster logically on the program and give everyone a chance to make a name for themselves, plus the introduction of some famous DJWO talent into the mix."
"This leads to an even bigger announcement. We've been developing a third brand for RMW for quite sometime, but the contract with ABNC was terminated. In light of dumping Ringisde and singing the RMW product exclusively to CTV, they offered us a package deal for 11:30pm Friday nights as well as the Saturday night slot RMW currently owns. We're pleased to announced the debut of a new concept that is going to revolutionize TV wrestling."
X holds his arm out like Charles Foster Kane as a giant poster unrolls
"In an effort to expand our audience, and branch out our product, we have came up with this concept. RMW: The New Class will focus on a completely new cast of wrestlers who have never had the chance to shine on the national stage. Unlike traditional RMW, the rules and regulations of TNC will be more traditional to compete with other wrestling brands. We hope to prove ourselves with this program to get bumped up to a prime time slot, action figure deals, kids cartoon shows, and other mainstream avenues we cannot pursue with the traditional RMW product"
The audience claps
"What this means is there will be no foul language, blood, offensive or racist characters, foreign objects, and dangerous moves such as the piledriver. This will be a clean family product meant to appeal to the widest demographic possible. This does not mean the end of the classic RMW brand, but in the ever-changing post concussion world of sports we must begin to address the health of our employes and make positive changes. We feel this is a step in the right direction to better pro-wrestling for the wrestlers and the audience. Another objective with this new product is to ease the traditional RMW audience into a more regulated safe style of wrestling. The first show will air next Friday night, and all the details will be laid out in a press release this coming Monday morning. I'm also pleased to introduce the Brand Manager and on-air General Manager...Matt Bourne"
X takes his walks away from the podium as "Boys Are Back In Town by Thin Lizzy" kicks in. An obese scummy looking balding man in a suit walks out onto the stage.
"Hello ladies and gentleman, and thank you Mr. Castro for this opportunity. I just want to say it's glad to be back in the business after about 7 years of pushing paper."
The audience chuckles at the joke. By pushing paper I believe he was sweeping the gutters as community service after an incident with a 14 year old girl
"You may remember me as the owner of a popular wrestling federation, the Internet Wrestling Federation, back in 2003/2004. I was handed the keys by the Elvin Brothers, but unfortunately it went under after the pressures of the job became too much for me. I had a mental breakdown. But hey, at least they went on to be very successful as the first incestuous brother/transsexual owned coffee shop in San Francisco. Sometimes I stop by for a donuts, but I never get the cream filled ones..."
One guy in the audience busts out laughing
"As you can tell I've had a rough couple of years. After the IWF closed I was out of a job, my wife left me, my kids left with her, I lost my house, and then I ballooned up because my metabol.."
The loud laughing guy in the audience begins shouting "YOU FAT FUCK" "YOU FAT FUCK". Security rushes him down and drags him away. The man was dressed exactly like Wifebeater, and looked alot like him.
"Anyway, point is I had a lot of hard times fall upon me until I found the power of Jesus Christ. After 12 steps and a lot of therapy I'm back on my feet. I've been apart of RMW for a year now working on getting this New Class project started, and with my experience in the field I've been handed the keys by Mr. Castro. As of right now I promise that TNC will not only change pro-wrestling, but uphold the moral values you'd expect for a family show. So, to dust off an old classic saying of mine....
RMW HAS BEEN....BOURNE AGAIN!"
"First order of business is the Hammerlock Pro Wrestling "invasion" from last week. As of 9:00am this morning I no longer own the rights to the HPW names, characters, trademarks, or tape library. It's been sold to Jack Hammer for an undisclosed sum. The only current wrestler who even uses an HPW gimmick or character is Cannonball Hall, and he owns the copyright himself. My lawyers feel that this was in our best interests to get rid of this stuff as it serves no purpose financially or historically. As you all know Mr. Hammer owns 25% of RMW, but the footage and trademarks were a separate entity filed by my behalf. I hope that this motion of gratitude will satisfy Mr. Hammer's "legacy" and provide him with the proper channels to continue his product. As of now, I assume, he will be a silent business partner and his disruptions of the RMW product will not continue."
"Now on to big RMW news. The brand split will end immediately. As you know we had broadcasted two episodes of Saturday Night Breakdown, but only one episode of Network Wrestling Presents: Ringside. ABNC had threatened to cancel Ringside after one episode because of the content. Even with a late slot on Monday nights they still felt it was too risque. We negotiated and negotiated, but they refused to air our product again unless we cut out much of what makes RMW, RMW.
So we were left with the choice of either shopping Ringside around and continuing to broadcast Breakdown or just canceling Ringside altogether. The brand split gave us a chance to branch out some of our long-time wrestlers and give them their time to shine, but the idea of leaving half of our talent roster sitting at home was not something we logically could go forward with. So we have dumped the program completely and the entire RMW roster as you know it will come together Saturday night at 11:30 PM for RMW: Saturday Night Breakdown. Going forward we will make an effort to balance our talent roster logically on the program and give everyone a chance to make a name for themselves, plus the introduction of some famous DJWO talent into the mix."
"This leads to an even bigger announcement. We've been developing a third brand for RMW for quite sometime, but the contract with ABNC was terminated. In light of dumping Ringisde and singing the RMW product exclusively to CTV, they offered us a package deal for 11:30pm Friday nights as well as the Saturday night slot RMW currently owns. We're pleased to announced the debut of a new concept that is going to revolutionize TV wrestling."
X holds his arm out like Charles Foster Kane as a giant poster unrolls
"In an effort to expand our audience, and branch out our product, we have came up with this concept. RMW: The New Class will focus on a completely new cast of wrestlers who have never had the chance to shine on the national stage. Unlike traditional RMW, the rules and regulations of TNC will be more traditional to compete with other wrestling brands. We hope to prove ourselves with this program to get bumped up to a prime time slot, action figure deals, kids cartoon shows, and other mainstream avenues we cannot pursue with the traditional RMW product"
The audience claps
"What this means is there will be no foul language, blood, offensive or racist characters, foreign objects, and dangerous moves such as the piledriver. This will be a clean family product meant to appeal to the widest demographic possible. This does not mean the end of the classic RMW brand, but in the ever-changing post concussion world of sports we must begin to address the health of our employes and make positive changes. We feel this is a step in the right direction to better pro-wrestling for the wrestlers and the audience. Another objective with this new product is to ease the traditional RMW audience into a more regulated safe style of wrestling. The first show will air next Friday night, and all the details will be laid out in a press release this coming Monday morning. I'm also pleased to introduce the Brand Manager and on-air General Manager...Matt Bourne"
X takes his walks away from the podium as "Boys Are Back In Town by Thin Lizzy" kicks in. An obese scummy looking balding man in a suit walks out onto the stage.
"Hello ladies and gentleman, and thank you Mr. Castro for this opportunity. I just want to say it's glad to be back in the business after about 7 years of pushing paper."
The audience chuckles at the joke. By pushing paper I believe he was sweeping the gutters as community service after an incident with a 14 year old girl
"You may remember me as the owner of a popular wrestling federation, the Internet Wrestling Federation, back in 2003/2004. I was handed the keys by the Elvin Brothers, but unfortunately it went under after the pressures of the job became too much for me. I had a mental breakdown. But hey, at least they went on to be very successful as the first incestuous brother/transsexual owned coffee shop in San Francisco. Sometimes I stop by for a donuts, but I never get the cream filled ones..."
One guy in the audience busts out laughing
"As you can tell I've had a rough couple of years. After the IWF closed I was out of a job, my wife left me, my kids left with her, I lost my house, and then I ballooned up because my metabol.."
The loud laughing guy in the audience begins shouting "YOU FAT FUCK" "YOU FAT FUCK". Security rushes him down and drags him away. The man was dressed exactly like Wifebeater, and looked alot like him.
"Anyway, point is I had a lot of hard times fall upon me until I found the power of Jesus Christ. After 12 steps and a lot of therapy I'm back on my feet. I've been apart of RMW for a year now working on getting this New Class project started, and with my experience in the field I've been handed the keys by Mr. Castro. As of right now I promise that TNC will not only change pro-wrestling, but uphold the moral values you'd expect for a family show. So, to dust off an old classic saying of mine....
RMW HAS BEEN....BOURNE AGAIN!"